


Riddick Rides the Pale Horse Chapter 1

by Ratatosk



Category: Discworld and Pitch Black / Riddick crossover
Genre: F/M, Fantasy, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-11
Updated: 2008-05-11
Packaged: 2017-10-24 06:38:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 30,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/260247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ratatosk/pseuds/Ratatosk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Author's Note - I started this story a long time ago. Only story I never finished, but Kali-Red has inspired me to post it up. I don't think I created anyone. I was very amused when I figured out that the hand of Dungeons and Dragons was clearly lurking in so many stories I've loved the past few years, and once I started playing with that, the first few chapters just wrote themselves.</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note - I started this story a long time ago. Only story I never finished, but Kali-Red has inspired me to post it up. I don't think I created anyone. I was very amused when I figured out that the hand of Dungeons and Dragons was clearly lurking in so many stories I've loved the past few years, and once I started playing with that, the first few chapters just wrote themselves.

Chapter One

Author's Note - I started this story a long time ago. Only story I never finished, but Kali-Red has inspired me to post it up. I don't think I created anyone. I was very amused when I figured out that the hand of Dungeons and Dragons was clearly lurking in so many stories I've loved the past few years, and once I started playing with that, the first few chapters just wrote themselves.

It's a cross over. Mostly a Discworld crossover. Also Greek mythology, Norse Mythology, Sandman, Tarot, little Joseph Campbell, probably a bit of Buffy, because she's everywhere, if you know where to look . . .

 **Chapter One. In Which Riddick Meets Death, the Death of Rats, and Binky.**

"So which death are you?" A woman's voice demanded.

Riddick opened his eyes and instantly regretted it. He wasn't wearing his goggles. He wasn't wearing anything. He squinted at the woman ominously. "Huh?"

"I said," the woman said, with a studied lack of patience, "what are you the death of?"

"Who'dya have in mind?" He made sure his voice rumbled. He'd worked hard on that rumble. It had made heavily armed men gibber.

But not this girl. " _What_?" Irritation rolled off of her, unleavened by even a flicker of anxiety. If her acerbic voice wasn't enough to make that clear, the tap of a heavy blade was eloquence itself.

Riddick risked opening his eyes a little wider. He confirmed that he was naked and unarmed. He also learned that he was lying in front of a roaring fire, with a severe young woman standing over him. One hand was on her hip, contemptuously. The other held a giant scythe, which she was tapping meaningfully. The blade was so sharp his squinting eyes could not see its edge, and it sat in her hand like she was born to wield it.

Aside from the scythe, she looked like . . . a school teacher. Well, _mostly_ like a school teacher. He squinted at her balefully. She was far more _there_ than any teacher he'd ever had. Far too real. Far too confident.

Her mistaken confidence aside, she was nothing he couldn't handle. Even naked. There was a weapon _right there._ Looked sharp. He could do this easy.

Except something was wrong.

Maybe it was her utter lack of fear.

Or maybe it was the horse.

Behind the young woman was a pale horse. An enormous pale horse. Placidly eating fruit from a bowl set on a table. A table in what, he knew, somehow, deep down, must be a drawing room. While he was no expert on horses, or on drawing rooms, he was reasonably sure that one did not typically contain the other.

 _Yes, something is wrong._

The young woman's eyes raked over him. He focused on her as best he could. White hair, with a black streak. Improbably, it was tied back into a severe bun.

"Alright. I'll try it again. You and Binky and this thing," she somehow gestured with the scythe at the scythe, which made his head hurt even more, "all showed up together. That probably means Grandfather has gone AWOL again. That means I am not in a good mood. So are you the death of something? Or are you some sort of small god? Or, gods help me, some sort of hero?"

He shrugged. "Not that I know of."

That pissed her off even more. "So, why are you lying naked on the floor and what do I have to do to fix the multiverse _this_ time?"

He stared at her blankly through barely open eyes as memories cautiously reassembled. A throne room. A dead girl. An army. An enormous . . . _swirly_ thing hanging in space. Ordering the Necromonger fleet into the swirly thing . . .

And now he was utterly unarmed and utterly naked while an utterly sensible young woman tapped an utterly sharp scythe at him. Meaningfully. And, for one of the first times in his life, the longer he stared at her, the less sure he was he'd win a fight with her. Utterly unsettling.

"SQUEAK!"

A rat scampered in, scrambled up the scythe. While that was strange enough, it was aggressively unlike any rat Riddick had ever seen. For one thing, it was wearing a leather cowl. For another, it had its own scythe.

"Squeak squeak squeak SQUEAK squeak!"

"Oh, librarian poo." The woman glared down at him, and there was something new in her eyes. Before, she'd been annoyed at the idea of him intruding into her life. Now, she was angry at him as a person. _Great_. "You imbecile. Stay here. I'm going to let someone know I'm leaving."

He shrugged again, fighting hard to regain his equilibrium. Really wishing he had some goggles. And some pants.

"You," she gestured to the rat. "Keep an eye on him. Don't want him scaring the children." She stomped off.

Immediately, she came back. "Nothing in this house is going to fit you, and I really _don't_ want you scaring the children." She snapped her fingers, and suddenly he was dressed, all in black and silver. She stomped off again before he could ask any questions.

He stood cautiously and looked around, ignoring the pain in his eyes. He confirmed, again, that there was a horse. There were bookcases. There was a fireplace. _Hm, a poker._ He picked it up thoughtfully. Became aware that the door was creaking open.

Before he could react, a very small head eased its way past the threshold. A very young girl – 4? 5? - was peering at him with big eyes.

"I'm the boogey man kid," he growled. To his surprise, she opened the door all the way, faced him accusingly.

"No you aren't. He's upstairs under the bed."

He hefted the poker in a manner that had made much larger men run. The child was gazed at it expectantly, as if waiting for it to turn into something amusing. He hefted it again, somewhat deflated.

The young woman had returned. He brandished the poker again, this time even lower. She snorted, clearly completely uncowed. Feeling absurd, he found himself putting it down. She addressed the child. "Run along, dear. I have some things to discuss with this . . . gentleman."

"Okay." The kid petted the horse on her way out.

The strange woman was still decidedly sensible looking, but her hair, heretofore in a neat bun, was beginning to assert itself. Unwinding from the restraints as if motivated by a force of its own. She saw his eyes watching it, touched her own head.

With a muttered curse, she vaulted onto the horse's back, held out a hand.

"Come on, then. Let's get this over with."

Riddick knew on the same level that he knew drawing rooms existed that people rode horses. It had never occurred to him it was a thing he might possibly do. He eyed it dubiously. "It'll take both of us?"

"Binky? He can take thousands." She pulled him up behind her with a surprisingly strong hand. The rat scampered up the horse, took up station on the horse's withers. "To grandfather's house we go, Binky. Let's see what Albert has to say. Or Quoth, he sometimes knows where the towels are buried."

"Quoth?" he rumbled. It was a good rumbling word. Something about sitting on this pale horse made him feel a little better. A little like he was home.

"The raven. Hold on." And with that, the horse launched itself upwards, through the house itself.


	2. Riddick Rides the Pale Horse Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Chapter 2: In Which Riddick Meets Death's Butler and Visits a Witch's Cottage.**

**Chapter 2: In Which Riddick Meets Death's Butler and Visits a Witch's Cottage.**

The ground vanishing beneath their feet was like no ground he'd ever seen. For one thing, the "planet," if that was, it appeared to be a flat disc, with oceans pouring off the edges like waterfalls into the endless abyss. For another, it seemed to be on the back of a giant turtle.

He was slightly embarrassed to realize he was gripping the girl very tightly as the horse flew through the sky. After far too long, they landed someplace that seemed to be drawn all in black. He couldn't decide whether they had left the world below. Strangely, whatever the light was, it didn't hurt his eyes.

An old man was waiting. His posture screamed "servant." But servants in the Necroverse would have rushed forward to help the woman dismount. This man, very definitively, was not feeling helpful. "Susan." He tugged his forelock, radiating sarcasm _._ "So glad you could make time to stop by."

Riddick was momentarily distracted by the fact he knew what a forelock was. Susan interrupted. "Thanks Albert. Where's grandfather gotten to this time?" She dismounted easily. Almost regretfully, Riddick slid to the ground next to her. He was growing to like the horse.

Albert snorted. "This new friend of yours," and he jerked a shoulder at Riddick contemptuously "tried to destroy a universe. Making a good run at it. Lots of Deaths got asked over to help sort through it all, try to stop it from spreading through the multiverse. Your Grandfather was hoping to get his part done before you were needed, but no such luck."

"Oh, librarian poo. What did he do?"

"Sent billions through a portal to a dungeon dimension. Made it very crowded. Too crowded."

 _Dungeon dimension?_

"The imbecile."

"Hey. I'm right here, lady. Which I didn't ask to be."

"Right." Her look was withering. "I didn't ask to be Death's adopted granddaughter. And I've found very few people who meet my family ask to."

He stared at her, not comprehending her words. " _Who_ are you?"

"Oh, please allow me to introduce myself, I thought you knew." She backed up, bowed deeply, ironically. "I am the Duchess Susan Sto Helit. I am also, right now, Death, The Destroyer of Worlds, the Bringer of Darkness, the Fourth Horseperson. It's a family thing. You can call me Susan."

"Susan."

"Yes."

"And Death."

"Yes. When grandfather goes on walk abouts, the Pale Horse," and she nodded toward Binky, who was grazing peacefully, "comes for me. Other times, I'm a simple school teacher." Her voice dripped acid. "I let a room in a nice house in the city."

"You have a secret identity?"

"Nothing secret about it at all. I'm Death. Sometimes. And I teach school. Albert, do you know where I have to go?"

"Yes, child." Albert pulled an hourglass out of a leather satchel. "A witch. Collect her, and things should get back on track. Give your grandfather some more time to deal with the bulging dungeon dimension your boy created."

"Thanks, Albert." She took the hourglass from Albert solemnly, and secreted it somewhere. _Where the hell did she put that thing?_ She vaulted back onto Binky's back, then hesitated. She looked at Riddick. "You better come with me."

"Come where?"

"Back to the Disc. I've got a soul to collect."

"Goggles."

"What?"

"Light down there bugs me."

She laughed. "You're a creature of the night? Beautiful." She leaned down and peered closely into his eyes. It had been a very long time since any one had done that. Since Jack had done that. His eyes prickled. He couldn't look away from this girl, who seemed more than a girl, her eyes were like black holes, he was falling into the darkness, and for just an instant, it was Jack in front of him; Jack as he imagined she would have looked before his eyes had been shined –

And then he was wearing goggles. "How the fuck did you do that?"

"This is my kingdom. Death's just transformation," she said as if quoting some ancient text, "and I'm Death right now." She offered him a hand. He ignored it and mounted the pale horse behind her without her help. She shrugged and launched them, again, into the ethereal sky.

"Is that a turtle?" Riddick finally asked, as the world below came back into view, with its oceans pouring into the infinite night.

"What?"

"Down there. Under the . . . world."

She looked down. "Great A'Tuin, yup."

"Your world's on the back of a giant turtle?"

"It's turtles all the way down. Well, there are the elephants too. You really aren't from around here, are you?"

"Nope."

After a moment, she continued, almost grudgingly. "What's your world look like?"

"Don't really have one. Last address was a space ship. But most worlds are balls. And they orbit their suns." He looked over at the sun blazing in the sky, below them. "At least where I come from. Your sun orbits your . . . turtle?"

"Oh, you're from a round world?" For the first time, she sounded pleased with him. She turned around to look at him. "Lobsang told me about them."

"Lobsang?"

There was a blush in her voice. "We have an understanding."

"Huh?"

His lack of understanding irritated her. "Nothing."

 _You've got a boyfriend? Some guy with a death wish?_ He didn't bother to repress his own snort.

The horse landed behind a farmhouse. Susan dismounted, shook herself, seemed to get taller. The ghostly edges of a cape seemed to coalesce around her. She walked into the farmhouse.

She didn't open the door first.

Riddick dismounted more slowly, still not sure about this whole horse business. He took stock of the yard. Hanging from a nearby tree was a bag with a note. He picked it up.

"Fer the hrs" it said. Binky bumped his hand in a knowingly, affectionately insistent fashion. Riddick hesitated. Finally, not knowing what else to do, he reached into the bag, pulled out an apple, handed it to the horse. Binky took it gently, crunching it whole happily. A sweet smell. Riddick tipped the rest of the bag out on the ground. It was full of oats and carrots. Binky munched happily.

Riddick looked around the yard. Aside from a freshly dug open grave, it wasn't particularly impressive. He was dourly certain that was an outhouse over there.

He wandered over to the grave. It was empty. Lots of footprints. Looked like lots of people had visited. There was a clear track from the grave to the house. _What the hell. Never been in a witch's cottage before. Aren't they supposed to be gingerbread?_

He used the back door. It seemed right somehow.

Susan was sitting by an old woman. Another young woman with a baleful look to her was banging dishes around. She glared at him. "So it's your fault." It wasn't a question. _No one's happy to see me here._

"Be nice, Matilda," the old woman said wearily. "Come 'ear and let me look at you, deary."

He approached slowly. The woman was so old she had shrunken small, but her eyes were still sharp. "So you're the one who mucked things up. Only fair you help me out now. My pall bearers had to go home." She pulled herself up in bed painfully. "Well, come on. Carry me out."

Riddick looked at Susan helplessly. "What?"

Susan's voice was quiet, serious. "Witches know when they are going to die. Mary was supposed to die this morning, but Death has to take personal possession of a witch's soul, and Grandfather was gone. Now, all the guests have gone home. Including the pall bearers. She's too old to walk."

"Oh."

The old woman smiled at him. "Don't worry about it, ducky. Twelve more hours was a gift."

 _She's in pain,_ he realized. She was the first truly old person he'd seen in a long time. Necros didn't get old. Prisoners never got old. _Jack never got old._ Seeing this woman lie there made him strange; like he was seeing something he never thought to see. Someone dying at the end of a long life.

"Yes," she said, quietly, as if she was a Quasidead, reading his thoughts. "You wouldn't have seen much of that, would you? Poor child. Doing the best you can." She raised her arms to him like a child looking to be carried. He approached slowly.

 _Just passing through,_ he reminded himself. _Just playing along until I know the game._ "I'm okay," he said, gruffly. He lifted the old woman up in his arms. She weighed almost nothing.

"No, you're really not," she sniggered. "But you could be."

Matilda scurried around, opened the door. He carried the old woman carefully, knowing where they were going. Her grave was deep. Seemed wrong to just dump her into it. He sat down on the edge, cradled her close, and dropped.

There was a mattress on the bottom. And a pillow. _Strange._ He crouched and laid the witch down awkwardly in the small space. She smiled up at him.

It all got very strange. Somehow, Susan was in the grave too. She had the scythe in her hand. Somehow, she swung it.

The woman smiled up at him again, and she wasn't old any more. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" she breathed. Riddick was uncomfortably aware that he was crouched on top a very beautiful woman. Susan was gone.

"What the fuck just happened?" he asked softly.

"You can see me?" she asked, delighted, "even after Death herself has cut the cord?" The woman's smile was intoxication itself.

"Yeah."

She stood, even though that was impossible because she must have had to stand _through_ him. He stood too. The old woman's corpse was still at his feet. But she was also young, and standing next to him. She cupped his face in her suddenly young and strong hands. "Yes. You see everything. You _have_ found your destiny, haven't you?"

He shrugged, strangely reluctant to dislodge her hands. "Huh?"

She shook her head. "You had it right, just play along. You'll figure it out. If I had more time-" She broke it off with a tinkling laugh. "Help me out, my knight!" He reached up, snagged the edge of the grave with one hand. With courtesy that was all mimed from Vaako, he offered her a hand.

She took it and, impetuously, kissed him hard. It was wonderful, but incredibly disturbing. She broke off the kiss, gave him a rueful smile. "Oh, if I'd met you sixty years ago . . ."

He pulled them both out of the grave. She now weighed less than nothing. Susan and Matilda were staring at him.

"Keep this one close, deary. I think you're gonna be glad of him." The no-longer-old woman bowed low to Susan. Susan reached forth. And then they were both gone.

 _That was weird._ After a few seconds of silence, Matilda rounded on him. "Because of you, she had twelve more hours of agony. And it was horrifyingly embarrassing to get the time of death wrong."

Riddick ignored her, walking back to Binky, who nickered at him softly. He stroked the horse's neck, reassured by the solidity of it. Animals. He liked animals. Matilda followed. "What were you doing down there?" Her voice was an accusation.

He shrugged. "Just talking."

"To a dead woman."

"Yeah."

She glared at him. Lots of people doing that lately. One thing about being the Lord Marshal, no one _ever_ gave you a dirty look. Her voice was an accusation. "You can see the dead. You're not a wizard. You're certainly not a witch. You don't look like a god. What are you?"

He smiled a long, slow, dangerous smile. "Just passing through, sweet cheeks."

She snorted, completely unimpressed. _What is it with the girls here? Have I lost my touch?_ "Just passing through, on the _Pale Horse._ Who are you?"

Something in the air suddenly felt wrong. But before he could ask why the words "Pale Horse" took ominous italics, Susan reappeared. There was gray dust clinging to her boots. "He's my problem. And congratulations on your new cottage, Mistress."

The young witch smiled, and there was a touch of malice in it. "Thank you."

Susan bowed. "Until we meet again." Then she gathered Riddick up with a look and they left on Binky's back again.


	3. Riddick Rides the Pale Horse Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Chapter 3: In Which Riddick Meets Death's Boyfriend, Learns of the Eternal Return, and Takes a Nap.**

**Chapter 3: In Which Riddick Meets Death's Boyfriend, Learns of the Eternal Return, and Takes a Nap.**

"So can this horse go anywhere?" Riddick asked once they were galloping up the sky.

"Pretty much." She didn't seem inclined to elaborate.

 _Interesting._ He filed that away, changed the subject, hoping she wouldn't notice. "So that girl was the old one's what, great grand daughter?"

"What? No. Just . . . an arrangement."

"Did she kill the old lady?"

"What? No! Why would you think a thing like that?"

"'Cause she got the house, didn't she?"

Susan snorted. "Yeah. No. This isn't some stupid kingdom where whoever kills the king becomes the king." She gave him a suspicious look over her shoulder. He carefully did not respond. Finally, Susan continued. "Witches do sometimes do that, when one goes wrong, but they usually do it quietly. Matilda probably apprenticed to the old witch for years. Learned the art. Learned the community. She should be the town's witch now."

"She was real pissed off with me."

"Witches like to be infallible. You messed that up, Riddick."

"How do you know my name, anyway?"

"The rat told me."

 _Oh, great._ He decided not to pursue the issue. "Did you kill that old lady?"

She took a sharp breath as if she was going to furiously deny that she had. Then she let it out slowly. "In a way. The soul has to separate from the body before someone can die. Normally, it just happens. Sometimes, Death him – her – self has to personally cut the cord."

He considered that solemnly. "So me being here messed that up? How?"

Susan's sigh seemed to sink into the very air around them, making it heavier. "Look, I know things are organized differently on round worlds. Here, witches know when they are going to die, and they are entitled to Death's personal attention. But Grandfather missed the call because of you, and I didn't know about it. I probably should have asked Lobsang to take me back, but I didn't think about it, and time travel is tricky."

 _Lobsang?_ So much in what she said made no sense. He picked a place to start. "So your granddad went AWOL. I still don't get what it has to do with me."

"You really should because he went to fix what you broke," she snapped. Binky nickered, soothingly. _At least the horse likes me._ She softened. "Think of it as a story. There are rules. Narrative causality will out. You can muck it up, but once you start mucking . . . well, I had to save the winter king once, or the sun wouldn't have risen. I had to save the day." She grunted. " _I_ had to save this kid so he could die at the right time."

For several beats, there was only the sound of the air streaming past them on the back of a flying horse. Her voice dropped so low he could scarcely hear. "I watched him die. I watched him come back."

 _Just like that witch._ There was something important in that, but he couldn't figure it out. _Another reason to hang out for a while._ Susan kept talking. "Look, once you step in the story, you have to follow it through or you wreck havoc. You stepped into a story. I'm going to make it right, and you're going to help."

He thought about it. _Crazy, but at least I'm not surrounded by Necros any more._ "How do you figure into this? And where did you go when you disappeared?"

"I told you. I'm Death's granddaughter. Genetic destiny. When he leaves the Disc, the Pale Horse comes for me."

"So Death has a kid."

"Adopted one. I'm her daughter"

"Genetics don't work that way."

"They do here." She stopped abruptly.

 _Granddaughter. Adopted. She's doing this, not her mother. No way her mother died of old age._ Suddenly, he felt a pang of sympathy for this queer girl. "What happened to your mother, Susan?" he asked, softly.

Her voiced was withering. "She died."

 _Death took your mother. Your grandfather took your mother. His kid._ "You didn't just cut the cord. You went somewhere."

"I took her to the threshold."

"The threshold." The word abruptly banished all his warm and fuzzy feelings. "What's that?"

She shrugged, irritated. "What, you know that word?"

"Heard it somewhere."

"What, on a vocabulary list?"

 _What is it with this girl? I could kill- oh, wait, that's right. Maybe I can't._ He couldn't think of any reason to keep the secrets of the Underverse from her. "The Necros – the people I 'sent into the dungeon dimension' – believed in something they called the Underverse, some glorious place on the other side of 'the threshold. What you call death.'" _Oh god, I sounded like Zyhlaw._ "My job as the Lord Marshal was to take them all there. That's what I did. They would have loved you."

"Huh," she said, her voice withering. "Usually, people like that just want death for other people."

"These guys were different."

She didn't say anything. Skepticism was running off her. He persisted. "What is the threshold?"

"It's a door. When you die, you go through it."

"Where does it go?"

She shrugged. "Where ever. I just make sure people can get there; what happens next is outside my jurisdiction." After a long moment, she continued, "Grandfather says – Grandfather says it goes different places. Takes some people to their next life. Takes others to some giant eternal. Some people end up in demon dimensions. Some people just . . . fade."

"Am I dead?" Riddick asked, abruptly.

"No." She paused, then continued thoughtfully, "well, not yet. I'm pretty sure I'd know."

They landed lightly in death's dream kingdom, and dismounted. Albert was waiting for them. "Things are working again." He took Binky's reigns, gave the pale horse an affectionate pat.

"Thanks, Albert," she said, wearily. "Any word from Grandfather?"

"Not yet," the man said, grimly.

She shook herself, squared her shoulders. "Okay. You take care of Binky?" The old man nodded, led the horse away. She fixed Riddick with a look. "Come on. Let's try to figure out why you're here." She led him into something that looked like a stylized child's drawing of a cottage.

It was much bigger on the inside. She took him to a comfortable study. There was a roaring fire in the fireplace, albeit one with black flames. He stared at it, unused to being able to look directly at a light source.

"Wait here." She headed through a door he could have sworn was just another part of the wall until she touched it. He sat in an overstuffed chair and closed his eyes. Dozed lightly.

After not all that long, she came back with a stack of books. He watched as she sat at the desk and started to page through them grimly. Not finding this interesting, he closed his eyes and dozed again.

He had a good doze on when there was a sharp rap on the door. Albert poked his head in. "Lobsang's here, ma'am."

She stood fast, and the first completely genuine smile he'd seen captured Susan's face. For an instant, she was beautiful. "Lobsang?" she called. A boy walked in.

The boy swept Susan up in his arms, and everything stopped making sense. Riddick felt like he was watching the universe swirl down into a black hole; the universe explode from an infinitely small point, be born, die –

And then it was just a boy and a girl, smiling at each other in that special way boys and girls smiled at each other. _Like I looked at Jack when she was there in front of me in Cremetoria, suddenly all grown up._ He derailed that train of thought.

"Lobsang," she whispered again, her eyes shining in a way that made him feel distinctly uncomfortable. "It's been too long."

 _Skinny kid. Could break him with one hand._ Though that black hole trick was pretty good.

"We have all the time in the world," he whispered. Then he shook his head. "Well, we don't. Is he the one?" He jerked his head towards Riddick.

"Yes. I think so."

Like so many people he'd met recently, Lobsang looked at Riddick and sighed. Completely uncowed. _Am I losing my touch?_ "He's caused a big problem. The structural matrix of his dungeon dimension can't handle the strain of so many people but sucked in all at once. Things are popping out all over the multiverse. Especially here."

"What?" Riddick broke in, nettled at being treated like a problem rather than . . . well, a problem. Wrong sort of problem. He snorted at himself.

Lobsang sighed, again. But the boy did look at him. "You're from a different universe. And you opened a door to yet another universe and pushed a whole lot of . . . stuff into it. It was a pocket universe; not big enough to contain it all. So it's . . . call it bulging out into other parts of the multiverse. Like here. Breaking boundaries. Pushing . . . things from one universe into the next. Dragons. Armies of the undead."

Incongruously, Susan giggled. "We're gonna be overrun by armies of the undead? What, they are going to try to petition us to death?"

Lobsang looked nettled. "Well, okay, yes of course the undead _as such_ aren't the problem, especially since they are decamping near Ankh-Morpork. But it's not just them. Plenty of undead around there. Even the organized undead have found a place. It's the organized undead who are fanatically devoted to recruitment that pose the problem."

"Librarian poo."

"All had to end sometime," Riddick rumbled. A favorite line of his. Usually made everyone worried. But it just pissed off Susan, who rounded on him.

"You telling me that because you think I don't know? I am Death, again, because of you. Yes, everything ends. That's not the problem."

"So what is the problem? People popping out of the Necroverse? Where's Ankh Morpork? I've got a girl I'd like to see again. Happy to kill the rest of them for you again."

Susan's eyes narrowed. "Oh, you got a dead girlfriend? How'd I miss that?"

Her voice was caustic, and the scythe was tapping again in that special, meaningful way that was making small part of Riddick's mammalian brain gibber. He sternly instructed it to man up. "She was not my girlfriend!" He was surprised at the heat in his voice. Despite himself, he found himself speaking words he had never said out loud before. "Look, I'm not a good guy."

"And another big surprise there."

He gave her a dark look. "I'm not a good guy. But seven years ago, I tried to be."

She snorted. He glared at her, but kept going. "Ship crashed on some crazy planet. It got dark. The monsters came out. Started picking off survivors. I tried to help. I really did."

"Help the monsters, or help the survivors?"

He smiled. "Tried to help the survivors. One was just a kid. 13, 14, all alone. I tried to help her special."

Susan was suspicious. "Why?"

"Liked her. Saved her, took her some place safe and well lit, left her with good people."

Susan's expression softened slightly, perhaps at the thought of him not being there. "Didn't work. She came after me. I was hiding in an ice cave, trying to lay low so no one would use her to get to me, and she was out there being shredded by monsters."

Some of that caustic look was back. "So you're an ice giant? Then what? You found out someone was messing with your little girl; swept out of the north, ate the sun, and brought down Ragnarok? "

He had no idea what she was talking about. Decided he didn't care. "Found her. Saved her."

"And now she's dead."

"Died saving my life."

Susan nodded, as if that was expected. "So, you tried to destroy a universe to get your self sacrificing dead not-girlfriend back."

"No!" he snapped. "Most people I meet die." Another perfectly good threat flopped on the ground like a dying fish. "I just figured the Necros wanted to go to the Underverse; I'd help them out. A good deed."

She snorted contemptuously. "Right, because you're such a Small Gods Scout."

They glared at each other in the undarkness of death's dream kingdom.

Lobsang broke in. "So how did you get to a place where you _could_ send a universe into a dungeon dimension?"

Riddick shrugged. "Came with the territory. You keep what you kill. They had my girl; there was a lot of them, I went straight to the top. Challenged the top dog. Turns out that's how they pick their leaders."

Lobsang and Susan stared goggle eyed at him. And then Susan started to laugh. She laughed so hard she had tears running down her cheeks. Riddick's growing, growling rage had no effect. Finally, she managed to gasp, "Old magic! You're the King of the Golden Bough! Kill the king, become the king! You made yourself part of their story!"

"And now the old king has your girl," Lobsang said slowly.

"They're both dead-" Riddick started, then broke off. "Shit. They are both in the Underverse. You're saying that it's real. A _place_."

Susan got a strange look at her face, took a deep breath. But Lobsang had already nodded.

"It's a _place._ How do I get there?"

Susan shook her head looked at him with something like compassion. "You can't. I'm sorry."

His eyes narrowed. "But you said things were popping _out_ of there. That means there's a door. And your horse can go anywhere."

She hesitated. "Grandfather _kept_ you from going there. I think. He had to have a reason."

 _Fuck that. Time to go horseback riding._ He turned around, started walking. Susan grabbed his arm with a surprisingly strong hand. "Where do you think you are going?"

"Sightseeing."

"You're going after your girlfriend."

"Fuck off."

She let him go. But the door slammed in front of him. He turned around, furious. But he kept his voice calm. "Hasn't been a prison yet that could hold me."

"That doesn't surprise me." She looked slightly regretful, glanced over at Lobsang. "Nine minutes?"

Lobsang nodded. "Do it."

Susan swung the scythe. Riddick never had a chance. His lifeless body hit the ground hard.


	4. Riddick Rides the Pale Horse Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Chapter 4: In Which We Learn of Kyra's Time in the Underverse**.

**Chapter 4: In Which We Learn of Kyra's Time in the Underverse**.

 _Death,_ Kyra thought, _sucks._

It hadn't been so bad at first. She'd woken in a grove, which seemed promising. A blond and urgent young man was leaning over her, every line of his body taunt and seeming to vibrate slightly. He spoke urgently. "Come with me if you want to live."

"Didn't I die already?" She'd asked. The man swallowed, a look of infinite sadness briefly darkening his features. He nodded urgently.

"Good point. You died directly after killing the Lord Marshal. Come with me if you do not want to get tortured to death for that." He paused, swallowed again, and continued, even more urgently, "tortured to death repeatedly."

She did not understand him. But she did understand the sound of boots stomping. He seemed the better option. The two of them were the Underground of Underverse, as far as she could tell. You could live in the tulgy woods outside of the straight lines of the dead, if you paid attention to the slithly toaves outgabing. It wasn't always fun, but it was enough. For a while.

Until the Necros caught her. Until they brought her to the Lord Marshal. Nothing mimsey about that.

She'd lost count of how many times they'd killed her died since then. The bugger of it was, she always came back when what ever passed for a sun rose. And then they'd kill her again.

This next time couldn't come fast enough.


	5. Riddick Rides the Pale Horse Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Our story thus far:** Lord Marshal Riddick, for reasons we have not explored but likely were nihilistic and perhaps a tiny bit oppositional defiant, ordered the entire Necromonger fleet into the Threshold of the Underverse. Subsequently, our Riddick woke, naked, in a young lady's parlour. In another universe. Susan, the young lady in question, was not pleased, as Riddick's presence signaled that her grandfather, the anthropomorphic embodiment of Death, had gone on walk abouts, leaving the family business – and represented by The Pale Horse and The Scythe – to her. Mounting the Pale Horse, Binky, she brought Riddick, clothed, to Death's realm in an effort to investigate. Riddick discovers he likes Binky, who, he learns has the ability to go anywhere. As Susan is researching her Riddick troubles in Death's Dark Study, Lobsang, Susan's boyfriend and the son of the anthropomorphic embodiment of Time (like she's gonna date a frat boy) arrived with grave news that Riddick's attempt to give the Necromongers what they want may be shredding the multiverse. He also lets slip that the Underverse is a real place where Necromongers go when they die. Realizing that Jack might in fact be subject to rescue, Riddick decides to ride forth and save her. After mysteriously agreeing on "nine minutes," Susan slays Riddick with Death's own scythe. Our tale then took us to the Underverse, where we learn Jack was in fact reborn in the Underverse after dying saving Riddick's life, and has sadly fallen into the hands of people who are not overly solicitous of her welfare. We join our story back in Death's Study . . .

**Our story thus far:** Lord Marshal Riddick, for reasons we have not explored but likely were nihilistic and perhaps a tiny bit oppositional defiant, ordered the entire Necromonger fleet into the Threshold of the Underverse. Subsequently, our Riddick woke, naked, in a young lady's parlour. In another universe. Susan, the young lady in question, was not pleased, as Riddick's presence signaled that her grandfather, the anthropomorphic embodiment of Death, had gone on walk abouts, leaving the family business – and represented by The Pale Horse and The Scythe – to her. Mounting the Pale Horse, Binky, she brought Riddick, clothed, to Death's realm in an effort to investigate. Riddick discovers he likes Binky, who, he learns has the ability to go anywhere. As Susan is researching her Riddick troubles in Death's Dark Study, Lobsang, Susan's boyfriend and the son of the anthropomorphic embodiment of Time (like she's gonna date a frat boy) arrived with grave news that Riddick's attempt to give the Necromongers what they want may be shredding the multiverse. He also lets slip that the Underverse is a real place where Necromongers go when they die. Realizing that Jack might in fact be subject to rescue, Riddick decides to ride forth and save her. After mysteriously agreeing on "nine minutes," Susan slays Riddick with Death's own scythe. Our tale then took us to the Underverse, where we learn Jack was in fact reborn in the Underverse after dying saving Riddick's life, and has sadly fallen into the hands of people who are not overly solicitous of her welfare. We join our story back in Death's Study . . .

 **Chapter 5: In Which Riddick Meets Death's Boyfriend. For the First Time. Again.**

Riddick was bound to a wheel, spinning backwards as Susan, on Binky's back, rode over a battlefield, choosing the slain, ignoring him completely. She dissolved into Jack, who started to run towards him, arms wide open. He tried to move towards her, but she dissolved, obscenely, into the flying monsters of H2, flapping wetly towards him. If any muscles were responding, he might have pissed himself. The screeching monsters swirled above him and around him before melting into the towering castles of the Necropolis.

Riddick woke abruptly in a comfy chair in Death's study and almost attacked the door. Only, for the first time in his life facing a fight, his muscles refused to be involved. They felt dead. All he could do is glare at the door, furious at it for no reason he could remember.

Tauntingly, it opened slightly. Albert's extraordinarily non-Necromonger head poked in. He was smirking. The smirk broadened significantly when he saw Riddick, still sprawled in the comfy chair. "Lobsang's here, ma'am," he announced, slightly too loudly. He winked at Riddick lasciviously. Which at least transformed the horror of flying monsters to the horror of something simply unpleasant and, Riddick comforted himself, entirely killable.

A boy walked in. A strangely familiar boy.

 _That's funny,_ Riddick thought. Both the spinning dream and the paralysis vanished abruptly. _Don't I know this guy?_ The boy gave Susan a quick embrace and turned on Riddick, a worried look on a strangely familiar face. "Who's this?" the boy asked, cautiously.

Riddick gave him a big, fake, sleepy smile, suddenly grateful that he had not attacked the door. Would have been ridiculous. It was just a door, not a gateway into a nightmare. Plus, the boy's discomfort was kinda tasty. _Wonder if he thinks I've been makin' it with little death girl over there. Wonder if that's what Albert thought._ The thought was deliciously amusing, like when he found out his Necromonger second in command was named Karl. "Hi there! Richard B. Riddick."

He stood, only partially to see if he could, and extended a hand, only partially for the same reason. The boy took it, shook it solemnly. "I'm Lobsang."

Susan sighed, theatrically. "Lobsang, please meet Richard B. Riddick. Serial killer. Escaped convict. Former Lord Marshal of the Necromongers. Would be destroyer of the universe." Riddick gave her a sharp look, dropped the boy's hand.

"Rat told you all that?"

"Been reading up on you. Riddick, please meet Lobsang, the Avatar of Time. He _has_ destroyed the universe. And brought it back. Many times."

At that, Riddick stared hard at the boy, who suddenly did not look the tiniest bit familiar at all. _Skinny kid. Could break him with one hand._ But something told him that would be a very bad idea. "Hey." He stayed intrusively close.

"Hey."

Susan suddenly seemed oddly flustered. "Oh, where are my manners? Riddick, you must be hungry. Or possibly tired. Albert has food." She hesitated, then, almost unwillingly, rushed on, "or something like it. And you can have my father's room." She was clearly more confident of that. "Come on." She bustled out. After a moment, Riddick followed, bemused at this sudden spasm of uncertain domesticity. She took him down through the black house to a small kitchen where Albert was cooking something tubular and oozing in a black cast iron skillet. "Albert. Could you feed him and set him up in my father's old room?"

Albert gave him an evil wink. "Mort's room? You bet, young mistress. Come on, sonny, got some sausages ready to go." After deciding killing the old man would be another ridiculous overreaction, Riddick shrugged and took a seat at a battered kitchen table. Susan disappeared with alacrity. Given the smell, he couldn't blame her. Smelled like the man was cooking down blood that had not seen the veins of an animal for quite some time.

After a questionable, though salty and protein packed, meal, Albert led him to a small room with a small bed, all in black. Sleeping seemed like a very good idea. His nap had not been renewing at all.

He slept without nightmares, but not without dreams of planets that were really giant turtle eggs and of riding a giant elephant over mountains looking for the place the sun went at night, filled with a dead certainty Jack was around somewhere.


	6. Riddick Rides the Pale Horse Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Our story thus far:** Lord Marshal Riddick, for reasons we have not explored but likely were nihilistic and perhaps a tiny bit oppositional defiant, ordered the entire Necromonger fleet into the Threshold of the Underverse. Subsequently, our Riddick woke, naked, in a young lady's parlour. In another universe. Susan, the young lady in question, was not pleased, as Riddick's presence signaled that her grandfather, the anthropomorphic embodiment of Death, had gone on walk abouts, leaving the family business – represented by The Pale Horse and The Scythe – to her.

**Our story thus far:** Lord Marshal Riddick, for reasons we have not explored but likely were nihilistic and perhaps a tiny bit oppositional defiant, ordered the entire Necromonger fleet into the Threshold of the Underverse. Subsequently, our Riddick woke, naked, in a young lady's parlour. In another universe. Susan, the young lady in question, was not pleased, as Riddick's presence signaled that her grandfather, the anthropomorphic embodiment of Death, had gone on walk abouts, leaving the family business – represented by The Pale Horse and The Scythe – to her.

Mounting the Pale Horse, Binky, she brought Riddick, clothed, to Death's realm in an effort to investigate. Riddick discovers he likes Binky, who, he learns has the ability to go anywhere. As Susan is researching her Riddick troubles in Death's Dark Study, Lobsang, Susan's boyfriend and the son of the anthropomorphic embodiment of Time (like she's gonna date a frat boy) arrived with grave news that Riddick's attempt to give the Necromongers what they want may be shredding the multiverse. He also lets slip that the Underverse is a real place where Necromongers go when they die. Realizing that Jack might in fact be subject to rescue, Riddick decides to ride forth and save her. After mysteriously agreeing on "nine minutes," Susan slays Riddick with Death's own scythe. Our tale then took us to the Underverse, where we learn Jack was in fact reborn in the Underverse after dying saving Riddick's life, and has sadly fallen into the hands of people who are not overly solicitous of her welfare. We returned to Death's study. Time has rolled back nine minutes. Riddick is not dead – yet – and instead is given dinner and a comfy bed. . .

 **Chapter 6: Which Begins with Breakfast, Engages in Some Tedious But Necessary Exposition with Yet Another Appropriated Character, and Ends with the Implication of Dragons.**

Riddick woke refreshed and surprisingly hungry. He tracked down the little kitchen. Albert was still there, still torturing sausages.

"Hello sleeping beauty," the old man said, still smirking. Riddick wondered briefly if smirking was simply his default state.

"Hey, old man."

"Breakfast?"

"Sure." Albert found a plate – black – and loaded some of the "sausages" onto it. Which is to say, congealed and cooked down blood. Mysteriously, these ones had oats mixed in. As a concession, perhaps, to the hour, Albert served them with a tomato and some bread that had hardly been fried at all. Riddick ate the food slowly. He'd had worst.

"Susan won't eat my cooking," Albert sniffed.

Riddick smiled, involuntarily, feeling a moment of sympathy for the queer girl. "Where is she?"

Albert rolled his eyes. "Had class to teach."

"Huh?"

It was like Albert had a bitterness pimple that had just burst, spurting the pus of righteous indignation everywhere. Riddick eased away. "Do you have any idea what sort of power that girl's got? She can go any place, any time. She can snap her fingers and people freeze. She has a voice that makes people _believe_ what she tells them. She should be some sort of – some sort of witch queen somewhere. Instead, she's a _school teacher._ " The last two words dripped venom.

"Teacher?"

"In her _real life,_ she's a school teacher. It's nuts. Girl's part immortal. She could rule the world. You know what she's doing these day? She's teaching _critical thinking_ skills to a bunch of Ankh-Morpork children." The stink of irritation spewed off of the old man like the stink of sausages.

"Ankh-Morpork?"

Albert sniffed, clearly finding pleasure in Riddick's inferior knowledge of local geography. "That's right, you're not from around here. It's a big city. _The_ big city. Where she found you. Where we got our toilet. They've got the best dwarves down there. Even figured out how to install a toilet in Death's own house. Smart buggers."

 _I am not asking about that._ "So, what, she's not living up to her potential?"

Albert seemed to miss the irony in the words. "It's all about power. She has it. And she's too sanctimonious to use it."

Riddick watched him carefully. "She said she killed a boy to make the sun rise."

"Yeah. She'll save the world if she has to. Or she'll use it to help her kids get a _good educational experience._ " Albert huffed like an elephant passing gas, then, not surprisingly, seemed to deflate slightly. "Her mum lived here for hundreds of years as a 16 year old girl. Think it did something to her."

 _These people are very strange._ "Why's Susan a duchess?"

Albert snorted and reinflated. "Oh, her father used power a time or two. He was Death's apprentice. Got sent to take a princess. Got star struck, or fell in love, or stubbed his toe or something. Wouldn't take her. That created two universes; one where the princess died like she was supposed to; one where she didn't. The Master was very cross. But he's a softy. Pulled some strings. Got the two time lines knit together and they all lived happily every after. Well, until the carriage accident."

"I don't get it. Her father married a princess?"

"Nope. Her father married Death's adopted daughter. Princess made them royalty."

Riddick spoke slowly, trying to make all the pieces fit. "So her folks stopped some girl from being killed, but Death didn't stop them from dying?"

A wicked smile twisted Albert's twisted face. "Yeah. Funny old thing, Death. He always loved them. He could have done something. But he didn't. They died young and pretty, and he took them himself through the dark door."

"The Threshold."

"Yeah. It's been called that."

"Why'd they stop visiting?"

"Didn't want Susan growing up all supernatural like."

Riddick took one last bite, shoved the plate away. "What's your role in all this, old man?"

Albert's twisted smile grew conspiratorial. "I challenged Death. He thinks I lost."

"Huh?"

"Hundreds of years ago, and I'm still here, ain't I? I'm a wizard. There are demons in the dark dimensions slavering for me on the other side. I'm in no hurry to meet up with them. Hopin' some might eat each other before I have to pass through the threshold."

 _And the things I'm not asking about just keep piling up._ "Okay." Riddick stood, put his plate in the sink. "Thanks. I'm gonna poke around. Any thing I should know? Any 'one door' I'm not supposed to go through or anything?"

"Not falling for that one, kid. Go anywhere you want. Well, Susan might get annoyed if you poked around her bedroom too hard. But other than that, just don't fall off, and you'll be fine."

"Fall off?"

"It's a long way down, son."

Riddick gave him a long blank look, headed towards the door. "Hey," Albert called after him.

"What?"

Albert pulled himself up stiffly. "Take some lunch. I could use the quiet." He started bustling about in a picnicky way. Riddick noted something that looked suspiciously like animal bladders seemed to be part of the plan, and vowed to be very careful.

"Thanks," he said with as much warmth as he could muster. Riddick collected the sack and headed out the door. Found the stables and was disappointed to find that Binky wasn't there. _My best friend in all the world._ Riddick snorted at himself.

He walked around the stables. There was a fenced field full of grass a green so dark he thought it was black at first. _Why fence a field that has a flying horse in it?_ He entered the field cautiously. _Nice place for a run. Get the kinks out._ He started jogging along the fence lightly, and then faster and faster. Felt good.

The field was an enormous oval. Seemed absolutely normal. Even had to avoid certain organic obstructions. After circling the whole field once, he set out across the middle, heading for the point most distant from the house, about four clicks away.

Arrived slightly winded. Eyed the land beyond the fence. There was the suggestion of a forest. Not actual trees; just the suggestion of trees . . . as he stared at any particular tree, it seemed to become more solid. But the others seemed to fade. Like there was only so much reality to go around.

" _Don't fall off."_ Old guy didn't say anything about getting lost in the woods. Riddick vaulted the fence lightly and headed towards the forest. He stopped at the very first tree to do a set of pull-ups on a handy branch. Both arms, one arm, other arm, both arms. Did it until he was exhausted. Stopped, took a drink from one of the pouches Albert had given him, dourly certain it was indeed made from an animal bladder.

Took his first step into the tulgy wood. _How do I know it's tulgy?_ he wondered. Words he didn't know he knew were filtering up. _Is this a dream? Am I going to wake up back in the Necropolis? Or –_ and he was surprised at how wistful the thought made him – _back in Cremetoria, with Jack?_

 _Why didn't I ever fuck her?_

The woods darkened immediately. It was a strange dark. As if he couldn't see so well because there was less there to see, not that there was less light to see it by. He walked carefully, extending all his senses. There was a strange delay on the sounds, as if sound waves had to think it through before they bounced back.

After what felt like an eternity, it seemed to get lighter ahead. He pushed on. Found himself in front of an enormous castle. A man, all in black, was looking down at him from a parapet. The man frowned at him. Suddenly, he was on the parapet with the man.

"Hello, friend, you have wandered here in a dream," the pale man said. "But fear not, I will send you back to the waking world no worse for wear."

Riddick started to tell the poncy bastard he had misunderstood what was going on – but changed his mind. Going back anywhere sounded just fine. "Okay."

The man smiled at him. There was a pause. The back of Riddick's brain prickled, like it had when the Quasi Deads had started probing. Riddick started to round on the strange man, irritated enough to see if this man could fly like Binky, but the feeling was gone before he got his muscles working. As if he knew, the man stepped back. "No," he said, wonderingly. "You did not come here in a dream. At least, not your own dream."

Riddick's irritation drained away, replaced by a feeling of resignation. He sighed, turned and rested his elbows on the stone ledge. "Yeah, I kinda figured that. You know a girl who think she's death?"

The man lit up. "My sister! You wandered here from her kingdom?"

"Guess so."

"Do you know why?"

"Just passin' through."

"Really." The man paused, awkwardly. "Do you know who I am?" There was a slightly plaintive note in his voice.

Riddick looked him up and down, thoughtfully. "Nope."

"I am the Lord of Dreams. Death's brother."

"Good for you."

"Not really. I was born to the role."

"Destiny sucks some time."

The man's lips twitched.

There was an awkward silence. Finally, the man broke it, speaking a little less formally. "Look. You're here. That means I'm supposed to give you some sort of cryptic guidance you'll worry about, but will come in helpful at the right time."

"Huh."

"Don't let her die."

"Everyone dies."

"Don't let her die before her due time."

 _Due time._ The temperature dropped, claws extended, like a raven onto a corpse's eyeballs. Riddick was dimly aware his fists were clinching hard enough to hurt. "Don't let _who_ die?"

The man seemed to be reading a far off book someone had spilled syrup on. "The maiden."

"Yeah. Okay. Last maiden I knew was six years old and about a trillion klicks away." He suffered a sudden pang. He liked Ziza. He'd sent her away before ordering the Necromonger fleet into the Underverse, but if what Susan was darkly hinting was right, she'd been sucked in. _Poor kid._

The man made a strange gesture. In the air, images swirled. Jack's face, morphing into Kyra, a spear in her hand and a smile on her lips.

She faded away.

"That one's already dead," Riddick said flatly. _And I'm pretty sure she was no maiden._ He felt a stab of fury at the tears prickling at his eyes. _I failed. Only person I ever loved, and I got her killed. She's dead._

"And you're in dream Death's kingdom," the man said, softly.

"Susan," he snorted.

The man started. "Susan? You mean the _Discworld's_ Death's granddaughter? You know _her_?"

Riddick's irritation was back. _Weren't you listenin'? How many girl death's are out there?_ "Yeah. Stayin' at her place."

The man frowned, clearly unsettled. "Maybe. She doesn't wear the face of the maiden for you. But sometimes, substitution is the best we can do." He reached out and touched Riddick gently, over his heart. "There are things I could tell you. But I wouldn't dream of interfering with my – with that sister's – kingdom."

Riddick blinked. And then he was back in Binky's paddock, laying on the soft dark grass, ravenously hungry. Binky was there, nuzzling him lightly.

"Huh." Awkwardly, he petted the horse, yet another strange dream fading away. He fished around in his knapsack. Mercifully, there were no sausages. Albert had given him three apples. He let Binky have all of them, while he ate the cheese and bread. They ate in companionable silence. Finally, Binky nuzzled him again, this time insistently.

"What?"

Binky blinked at him.

"You wanna give me a ride back?"

Binky bumped him on the chest, the same place the strange man had touched him in his dream. "Right." Binky's back was bare, and he had no reins. "What the hell." Riddick mounted, bareback, gripping with his knees. Binky took off at a trot, breaking into a gallop after he seemed confident Riddick wasn't going to fall off.

 _This is fun,_ Riddick realized, surprised. He wasn't surprised when Binky easily launched himself over the fence. Binky trotted up to Susan, who was waiting impatiently.

"There you are," she said. Clearly, she'd taken the scythe at her hip to what ever had flustered her last time, because she was back to her background state of being annoyed with him. "Come on. You've given us dragons."

The word "asshole" was unspoken, but clearly implied.


	7. Riddick Rides the Pale Horse Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Our story thus far** : Lord Marshal Riddick, for reasons we have not explored but likely were nihilistic and perhaps a tiny bit oppositional defiant, ordered the entire Necromonger fleet into the Threshold of the Underverse. Subsequently, our Riddick woke, naked, in a young lady's parlour. In another universe. Susan, the young lady in question, was not pleased, as Riddick's presence signaled that her grandfather, the anthropomorphic embodiment of Death, had gone on walk abouts, leaving the family business – represented by The Pale Horse and The Scythe – to her.

**Our story thus far** : Lord Marshal Riddick, for reasons we have not explored but likely were nihilistic and perhaps a tiny bit oppositional defiant, ordered the entire Necromonger fleet into the Threshold of the Underverse. Subsequently, our Riddick woke, naked, in a young lady's parlour. In another universe. Susan, the young lady in question, was not pleased, as Riddick's presence signaled that her grandfather, the anthropomorphic embodiment of Death, had gone on walk abouts, leaving the family business – represented by The Pale Horse and The Scythe – to her.

Mounting the Pale Horse, Binky, she brought Riddick, clothed, to Death's realm in an effort to investigate. Riddick discovers he likes Binky, who, he learns has the ability to go anywhere. _Anywhere_.

As Susan is researching her Riddick troubles in Death's Dark Study, Lobsang, Susan's boyfriend and the son of the anthropomorphic embodiment of Time arrived with grave news that Riddick's attempt to give the Necromongers what they want may be shredding the multiverse. He also lets slip that the Underverse is a real place where Necromongers go when they die. Realizing that Jack might in fact be subject to rescue, Riddick decides to ride forth and save her. After mysteriously agreeing on "nine minutes," Susan slays Riddick with Death's own scythe. Our tale then took us to the Underverse, where we learn Jack was in fact reborn in the Underverse after dying saving Riddick's life, and has sadly fallen into the hands of people who are not overly solicitous of her welfare. We returned to Death's study. Time has rolled back nine minutes. Riddick is not dead – yet – and instead is given dinner and a comfy bed.

The next morning, Riddick explores the grounds and wanders into another realm and meets Morpheus, the Lord of Dreams, guest staring from Neil Gaiman's Sandman. After unsuccessfully whapping Riddick over the head with clues, Morpheus sends Riddick back to Death's Dark Pasture, and Binky. After a picnic with a horse, Riddick returns to Death's Dark Stable, where Susan announces that Riddick has afflicted them with dragons. Our story continues . . .

 **Chapter Seven. In Which Riddick Goes Underground, and We Indulge in Even More Foreshadowing.**

Riddick smiled down at Susan. "Oh have I?" _Help the maiden, huh? Wonder if she qualifies?_

Her eyes narrowed as if he knew what she was thinking about. "Just because we're keeping you around, just because the horse likes you, doesn't mean you've got any rights here. You've started something monstrous. Don't think I won't feed you to it if I have to."

 _Irritating person._ He smiled his most seductive smile. "Sweet girl. You just do what you have to do. Or try . . . "

She snorted. "Let's get Binky saddled."

Riddick started to tell her not to bother, but decided if they were going flying, something to hold on to might be nice. "Funny how that saddle fits both of us."

"Yeah. Funny." She offered no explanation.

Shrugging, Riddick dismounted easily. Gave Binky an affectionate pat. "Go ahead. I'll watch."

"You're not a helpful sort are you?"

"Not really."

She harrumphed. Binky followed her willingly enough, though he gave Riddick several significant long looks as he hung back. Riddick grinned and caught up. She saddled him, pulled herself up, offered him a hand. He took it this time. He mounted behind her and Binky launched himself into the sky.

"How was class?" he asked, cheerily.

"What?"

"Albert told me you went to teach your class."

"Fine." Her voice was clipped.

"Cute kids?"

"Suppose."

"I like kids."

"I'm _sure_ you do."

Suddenly he felt bad about needling her. "I won't hurt them."

She snorted. "Really not worried about that." She hesitated, seemed to thaw slightly. "I'm sorry. I'm sure you didn't know what you were doing."

"Huh?"

Susan pointed. Riddick squinted. Smoke was rising gently from what might once have been a small town.

"What did I do?"

There was no answer. Binky landed, slowed to a trot. She clucked with her tongue, and Binky stopped. She dismounted. He slid down beside her. There was a sulfuric smell that almost completely failed to mask the sweet smell of burning flesh. She squared her shoulders and marched grimly towards the smell.

"What's this?"

"It _was_ a village. Before the dragon got here." She stalked past gruesomely burned bodies, disapproving but unflinching. _Damn. This girl's cold._ Most of the buildings were burned down to their foundations, small fires bearing witness to how recently the town had stood.

"What are we doing here?"

"Reconnaissance. Want to see if you recognize anything. Might give us some sense of how far the tear in the multiverse has gotten."

"Sure do."

"What?"

"These guys?" He pointed at some mangled bodies, seeming to have been blasted by a flamethrower as they ran away. "They're dead."

She rolled her eyes. "Do you know what killed them?"

He shrugged. "Weapons' fire?"

She sighed noisily, but didn't otherwise dignify Riddick's observation with a response. Her pace quickened. Riddick found himself stopping. Something was tugging at his awareness. A building, fallen and nearly burned to its foundation. He stepped over. Susan stopped, watching him with her lips pursed.

He kicked aside smoldering embers, shoved aside two singed and fallen crossbeams. The beams had blocked a trap door. He could clearly hear the sound of a child crying under that door now. He yanked the trap open, and almost without thinking, dropped into the darkness.

More than half the ceiling had come down at some point. A girl, maybe ten years old, was huddled around a crying infant in a corner. She blinked at Riddick in the dim light of what might have once been a basement, now was little more than a space to hide in. "Is the monster gone?"

"Looks like," he replied, gruffly. "Come on." He pulled her to her feet. She didn't let go of the baby. However she'd gotten down there, the passage was blocked. He ended up boosting them both over his head as Susan collected them from above.

After both of the children were up and away, he took a deep steadying breath. "Stand back," he ordered. No one answered. He got a running start, as much as one could run in a slightly smoldering collapsed basement, and leapt, catching the edge of the opening with his hands.

Susan was several yards away, talking busily to the child. He snorted. _Helpful girl, isn't she?_ He pulled himself up easily enough, slightly annoyed no one was there to be impressed. _Jack would have stayed. And been impressed. I just saved two kids from a slow death locked in the dark. She would have liked that. Even Vaako would have liked that. The old softy._

Riddick tried to focus on Vaako to crowd out dark thoughts of Jack, locked in a cave in the darkness, once upon a time, while monsters flapped wetly outside. The girl broke away from Susan, gave Riddick a long, dazed look. "It was you?"

"What?" He replied, hating the suddenly expanding hollow feeling deep inside.

"Who got us out. You saved us. I couldn't see too well down there . . ."

 _Shit, she means getting her out of the basement, not –_ "Yeah. It was me."

Susan broke in. "Come on. Do you have any family around here?"

The little girl shook her head. "My uncle lives in Sto Helit. My mom-" she stopped, started drawing in the ashes with her foot. "-my mom's dead, isn't she?"

Susan didn't hesitate. "Yes. But it's going to be okay. I have a horse."

"Cool," the girl said, sounding pleased and suddenly, way too content for a child whose home had just burned down; whose parents were dead; who had just been saved from darkness by, well, him.

Albert had said Susan had a voice that made people believe. A voice she'd clearly just used. _Has she used that voice on me?_

 _If so, why am I so pissed off at her?_

"We have to go," Riddick said, roughly. Found himself grabbing the girl's small hand, pulling her towards Binky. Susan was following. He could feel her amusement. He had the kids mounted on the horse before she got there.

He scowled down at Susan's faint smile. "You said he could take thousands."

Her smile just got bigger. "Oh, four won't be a problem." She mounted the horse, who indeed seemed perfectly comfortable with four, and clucked him into a gallop over the smoldering fields.


	8. Riddick Rides the Pale Horse Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **_Our story thus far:_ ** _Lord Marshal Riddick, for reasons we have not explored but likely were nihilistic and perhaps a tiny bit oppositional defiant, ordered the entire Necromonger fleet into the Threshold of the Underverse. Subsequently, our Riddick woke, naked, in a young lady's parlour. In another universe. Susan, the young lady in question, was not pleased, as Riddick's presence signaled that her grandfather, the anthropomorphic embodiment of Death, had gone on walk abouts, leaving the family business – represented by The Pale Horse and The Scythe – to her. Mounting the Pale Horse, Binky, she brought Riddick, clothed, to Death's realm in an effort to investigate. Riddick discovers he likes Binky, who, he learns has the ability to go anywhere. Anywhere. Insert dramatic eyebrow waggling here.  
> _

**  
_Our story thus far:_   
**   
_Lord Marshal Riddick, for reasons we have not explored but likely were nihilistic and perhaps a tiny bit oppositional defiant, ordered the entire Necromonger fleet into the Threshold of the Underverse. Subsequently, our Riddick woke, naked, in a young lady's parlour. In another universe. Susan, the young lady in question, was not pleased, as Riddick's presence signaled that her grandfather, the anthropomorphic embodiment of Death, had gone on walk abouts, leaving the family business – represented by The Pale Horse and The Scythe – to her. Mounting the Pale Horse, Binky, she brought Riddick, clothed, to Death's realm in an effort to investigate. Riddick discovers he likes Binky, who, he learns has the ability to go anywhere. Anywhere. Insert dramatic eyebrow waggling here.  
_

 _As Susan is researching her Riddick troubles in Death's Dark Study, Lobsang, Susan's boyfriend and the son of the anthropomorphic embodiment of Time arrived with grave news that Riddick's attempt to give the Necromongers what they want may be shredding the multiverse. He also lets slip that the Underverse is a real place where Necromongers go when they die. Realizing that Jack might in fact be rescuable, Riddick decides to ride forth and save her. After mysteriously agreeing on "nine minutes," Susan slays Riddick with Death's own scythe. Our tale then took us to the Underverse, where we learn Jack was in fact reborn in the Underverse after dying saving Riddick's life, and has sadly fallen into the hands of people who are not overly solicitous of her welfare. We returned to Death's study. Time has rolled back nine minutes. Riddick is not dead – yet – and instead is given dinner and a comfy bed._

 _The next morning, Riddick explores the grounds and wanders into another realm and meets Morpheus, the Lord of Dreams, guest staring from Neil Gaiman's Sandman. After unsuccessfully whapping Riddick over the head with clues, Morpheus sends Riddick back to Death's Dark Pasture, where Binky awaits an apple or three. After a picnic with a horse, Riddick returns to Death's Dark Stable, where Susan announces that Riddick has afflicted them with dragons. She takes him to a village that has not survived the dragony onslaught. Our story continues . . ._

 **Chapter Eight: In Which We Speak of Cabbages and Kings, and why the Sea is Boiling Hot – oh, Wait, No, Dragons. We're talking about Dragons.**

Sto Helit was dense with the stink of cabbages and people who thought Susan was royalty. Both gave Riddick a headache. After the children had been safely stowed away with an overawed relative, and dragon-oriented messages sent via some primitive signal flag based technology, Susan headed back for Binky. Riddick got there first.

As they were mounting the horse, Riddick snapped at her, "This is not my fault."

"Of course not." She held out a hand and, without thinking about it, he helped her mount. _Irritating._

"Where we goin'?"

"Ankh-Morpork."

"Why?"

She turned around on Binky's back and glared at him. "That dragon that you unleashed on my universe is on its way there. The one that's not your fault."

"There's only one universe."

She snorted. "Yeah. No. The wizards say that's definitional. There's one universe. Ponder calls it the 'multiverse.' But there are different layers. All stacked on top. Or intertwined. Ponder was a little unclear."

"Ponder?"

"Stimmons. He's a wizard. Makes more sense than most of them. Helped me out once. I went and talked to him. He told me that sometimes, they . . . get twisted, or break into each other. That's what you did. You made one get too big, and it's eating things." She made a strange hand gesture, and for just an instant, they were standing at the edge of a whirlpool in space. "That's – that's sort of it."

 _Black hole?_ He thought. _I turned the Underverse into a black hole?_ Out loud he said, "So?"

"So if one universe is full of dragons, and one is full of flammable beautiful maidens, there's going to be a problem when the walls come tumbling down."

Riddick closed his eyes. Something about the word 'maiden' bothered him. He was sure Susan did not know that. Real sure.

"There it is," she cut through his thoughts. Binky began a long graceful spiral downwards.

The dragon was big. Real big. Shooting flame out of its mouth. _That's why the town burned,_ Riddick realized abruptly, feeling foolish. _Not weapons' fire. Dragon fire. Dragons shoot fire. Right. Why didn't I know that?_

There was a loose group of armed . . . men and women? Something about that seemed not quite correct – loosely circling the dragon. Behind them were very old and very fat men seeming to be wearing dresses, and a woman of a certain age who seemed to be in charge. She seemed to have a bodyguard of . . . baby dragons?

Susan nudged him with an elbow. "Don't be surprised if the humans can't see you," she said, quietly. "Looks like maybe it's been contained, at a cost. Looks like I've got grandfather's business to take care of. Humans are very good at ignoring those on grandfather's business." Binky landed lightly, not far from the fight. She dismounted and marched grimly towards the thick of things. Riddick followed more slowly.

The dragon had wings. Improbably, it appeared to have been grounded by an orangutan, who was bouncing up and down on the thing's back with what appeared to be glee. Clearly, they were working something out.

Riddick turned to the biggest man among those confronting the dragon. Bulging muscles. A shock of red hair. Every inch a hero. Riddick despised him instantly.

The woman beside him . . . now she was another thing entirely. She had a sword in her hand but looked like she would have been just as deadly with her teeth. Susan was approaching her grimly. Feeling oddly protective, Riddick found himself catching up, locking himself behind Susan's shoulder. They passed close enough to the two fighters to touch them.

Hero boy's eyes passed right over them, unseeing. But the woman – she _saw._ Their eyes met. The woman's eyes widened slightly. Riddick kept going, staying close to Susan.

Susan had found what she was looking for, a very short, very old man wearing a dress. She swung the scythe, and a much younger man stood up from the corpse.

"Bugger," he said.

Susan held out a hand. He looked at it suspiciously. "Can we hold off for a few minutes? Gotta make sure the spell holds. I'm a wizard, you know."

"What spell?" Susan asked, mildly.

"I made the dragon think the librarian is its chick. And the watchman its mate."

Susan blinked rapidly. For the first time since Riddick met her, she seemed utterly flummoxed.

"Gosh," she finally managed.

Almost despite himself, Riddick turned to look at the dragon. _It's a she. Alrighty. Wonder which one is the librarian?_

 _Are there hero librarians?_

 _Makes more sense than orangutan librarians._

 _This place is fucked up._

Susan finally managed, weakly, "I think it's going to be okay. You died a hero."

Riddick's attention was suddenly pulled to the sky. Women on horses were hovering there impatiently.

"I'm entitled to Death's personal attention," the man said, weakly defiant.

"I know," she repeated. "And you're getting it." She simply took his hand and both of them vanished into a hole in the world. The women on horseback followed. Riddick felt like there was something important going on he was missing.

He turned towards the dragon, which now seemed to be purring.

 _This world is really fucked up_. He walked closer to the dragon, which seemed queerly kitten like. The orangutan was actually scratching it behind an ear with a spear.

"You're with Death?" someone said in his ear. The woman. He'd never heard her move. She was staring at him as if she could see him.

"Just along for the ride," he murmured. Hero Boy was climbing up the dragon, who appeared to be helping. Very disturbing.

"Hm." She was looking at him sidelong, most of her attention on Hero-boy. He felt the stirrings of something warm and green inside.

"Name's Riddick," he offered.

She smiled at him. "Angua."

They watched the dragon.

"So I'm guessing you have something to do with the sudden growth in our dragon population?"

"What makes you think that?"

"Call it . . . Watchman intuition."

He took a moment to untangle that. "You're a cop?"

A lupine smile appeared quickly, and was quickly gone. "Among other things. What brings you here, Riddick?"

"Just passin' through."

"Just passing through _On the Pale Horse?"_

 _What's with the capital letters? Oh, what the hell._ "Lady, I'm not from around here. But buy me a beer, and I'll tell you all about it."

Angua paused. Looked over at the hero boy who was, improbably, clearly urging the dragon to take off with him a dragon back. She smiled a wolfish smile. "What the hell. I'm almost off duty anyway, and looks like Carrot has everything under control. As usual."

"Carrot?"

She jerked a shoulder towards the dragon. "Our dragon rider. My boy. So to speak. Think your horse will take two?"

Riddick followed her gaze over to Binky. Then he smiled a long slow smile. " _My_ horse? He can take _thousands_."


	9. Riddick Rides the Pale Horse Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _**Our story thus far:** _ _Lord Marshal Riddick, for reasons we have not explored but likely were nihilistic and perhaps a tiny bit oppositionally defiant, ordered the entire Necromonger fleet into the Threshold of the Underverse. Subsequently, our Riddick woke, naked, in a young lady's parlor. In another universe. Susan, the young lady in question, was not pleased, as Riddick's presence signaled that her grandfather, the anthropomorphic embodiment of Death, had gone on walk abouts, leaving the family business – represented by The Pale Horse and The Scythe – to her. Mounting the Pale Horse, Binky, she brought Riddick, clothed, to Death's realm in an effort to investigate. Riddick discovers he likes Binky, who, he learns has the ability to go anywhere. Anywhere. Dramatic voice drop._

_  
**Our story thus far:**   
_   
_Lord Marshal Riddick, for reasons we have not explored but likely were nihilistic and perhaps a tiny bit oppositionally defiant, ordered the entire Necromonger fleet into the Threshold of the Underverse. Subsequently, our Riddick woke, naked, in a young lady's parlor. In another universe. Susan, the young lady in question, was not pleased, as Riddick's presence signaled that her grandfather, the anthropomorphic embodiment of Death, had gone on walk abouts, leaving the family business – represented by The Pale Horse and The Scythe – to her. Mounting the Pale Horse, Binky, she brought Riddick, clothed, to Death's realm in an effort to investigate. Riddick discovers he likes Binky, who, he learns has the ability to go anywhere. Anywhere. Dramatic voice drop._

 _As Susan is researching her Riddick troubles in Death's Dark Study, Lobsang, Susan's boyfriend and the son of the anthropomorphic embodiment of Time arrived with grave news that Riddick's attempt to give the Necromongers what they want may be shredding the multiverse. He also lets slip that the Underverse is a real place where Necromongers go when they die. Realizing that Jack might in fact be subject to rescue, Riddick decides to ride forth and save her. After mysteriously agreeing on "nine minutes," Susan slays Riddick with Death's own scythe. Our tale then took us to the Underverse, where we learn Jack was in fact reborn in the Underverse after dying saving Riddick's life, and has sadly fallen into the hands of people who are not overly solicitous of her welfare. We returned to Death's study. Time has rolled back nine minutes. Riddick is not dead – yet – and instead is given dinner and a comfy bed._

 _The next day, Riddick and Susan visit a village that has suffered an attack of dragon. Riddick pulls two children from the wreckage and accompanies our Susan first to Sto Helit, which smells like cabbages, and then to a confrontation with the dragon. There, he meets a young officer of the law and borrows Binky. Our story continues . . ._

 **Chapter Nine: A Chapter in Which There is Some Rat. And Beer.**

 _Susan closed the book carefully, her face detached, her hair uncoiling itself around her head like a clutch of hissing snakes._

" _I think I know what Grandfather was trying to tell me," she said, distantly. "I think I know why he sent Riddick to me. Why he didn't take him through the threshold."_

 _"Why?" Lobsang asked, cautiously._

 _"It's just like the Hogfather. I think I'm supposed to make sure that he dies at the right time."_

 _"Your grandfather doesn't need you for that."_

" _No," she said in a voice as square and sharp as a modern mausoleum, "I think_ we're _supposed to make sure he_ did _die at the right time."_

 **0o0**

Binky had no trouble abandoning Susan, a fact that amused Riddick to no end. They rode past giant stone hippos into a crowded city that stank worse than Sto Helit. In a show of gallantry, he let Angua take the reins. She said she knew where a good pub was.

The pub, Biers, was dark. Very dark. With people drinking alone, in that special way that people who were alone drank alone. It wasn't that the people disliked each other. They just each came with their own personal isolation shield. Angua was seen, as was Riddick, and then politely filed away as people who would not be remembered.

They found a quiet table in a quiet corner. Two beers appeared, brought by a bar tender as silent as a tomb. When he'd slipped away into the darkness, Riddick asked quietly, "So you're a cop? This doesn't seem like a cop establishment."

She smiled briefly. "I'm not just a cop. Biers is for people like us."

"Like . . . _us_?"

"Not . . . quite human."

Riddick gave the room another slow look. "Not human."

"There's a boogeyman over there." She jerked her head at a dark corner that Riddick had thought empty. "A couple of not-quite-reformed vampires at the bar drinking something that is not-quite-tomato-juice." She did not look at them directly. Riddick did, and noticed for the first time they did not cast a reflection in the wide mirror behind the bar. He was utterly certain they knew he was looking at them and that they were pointedly not looking back. "Some of the tooth fairies are regulars. Ghouls. Things that go bump in the night. Things like us."

"You look human."

She smiled mirthlessly. "So do you. But you don't smell human. You didn't know?"

 _Are Furyans human?_ He stared at her, suddenly feeling very alone. She took a long slow drink of her beer. _Can Furyans breed with humans?_ Finally, she seemed to take pity on him. "I'm a werewolf. Even in human form, even in the stink of the city, I can smell the non-humanity rolling off you."

"Ah." He wondered, very idly, if Furyans could breed with werewolves. He smiled at her.

Her eyes narrowed. "So I bought you the beer. What's up? Where did the dragons come from?"

He sighed, stared into the corner where the boogeyman he couldn't see lurked. "I have no idea."

She watched him steadily. "None whatsoever?"

He hesitated. "Maybe a little. You saw the girl I was with?"

"Yeah. Death. Nice horse."

"But your hero boy didn't."

"He's not like us." She shook her head wolfishly. "He's better."

Riddick grunted. "Whatever. I'm from someplace else. Someplace bet—someplace where worlds don't ride on the backs of turtles. Long story, but I ended up in charge of an army of bat shit crazy religious fundamentalists. They wanted to go to heaven. Or something. I decided to send them all there."

Saying the words out loud was not helping them make any sense.

"Okay," Angua said, slowly. "I didn't have you pegged as a soldier, but now that you come to mention it, you've got some . . . military bearing. What's that got to do with the dragon?"

Riddick, sighed, looked at the door. There was a very familiar rat stalking through it. It raised a tiny scythe at him in a sort of salute. He gave it a brief nod and turned back to Angua. "Death-girl thinks I punched a hole in the fabric of the . . . multiverse. She thinks things are leaking from one universe to another."

Angua took another drink of her beer. "Again? Bollocks. I should arrest you."

He was momentarily distracted by a raven stalking down the bar towards a large glass jar of what could be olives. He blinked and took a drink. It was strangely sweet for beer. "You threatenin' me, cop girl?"

She took a drink herself, leaned back. "Don't worry about it. Closest charge I could come up with is disturbing the peace, and that might be hard to explain. How do you know Death?"

He smiled grimly. _Oh, let me count the ways._ "Recently? I woke up naked in her living room."

Angua laughed. "I love it! Any more dragons on the way?"

"How the fuck would I know?"

She stared at him unblinking. Finally, reluctantly, he conceded. "Susan thinks it's going to get worse."

"Susan?"

"Death."

Angua blinked. "Death's name is Susan? And you're on a first name basis with Death?"

Riddick smiled. "Guess it comes with the territory." The raven was inching the lid off of the olive jar. Riddick suppressed the urge to go help.

"That dragon of yours killed some good people."

"Looked like he'd been forgiven."

"Well, we do have an assassin's guild here. Broadens the mind about killing." She took a very long drink.

 _Cold._

Intense cold. The Biers faded away.

For an instant, he was stepping off a cliff, Vaako as a little dog, snapping at his heels. He slowly came aware of Angua. Her warm hand on his arm. "What just happened?" She asked, quietly.

Riddick shrugged. "Dunno."

"You disappeared."

"Huh?"

"Just for an instant. You weren't there." She was staring at him hard.

"Huh."

Angua took a last swallow of her drink. Riddick thought that was a very good idea, drank his down. She made eye contact with the bartender, who nodded briefly and drew them another couple of pints.

They drank in thoughtful silence. Finally, Angua asked, "where are you staying?"

He shrugged. "Crashing with Susan for now."

A piercing whistle broke the quiet of the pub. Angua went ashen. "It's All Officers," she said and she scrambled to her feet. "I have to go."

Riddick finished both beers, followed her out.

Which was a good thing, because she was trying to take his horse.


	10. Riddick Rides the Pale Horse Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _**Our story thus far:** _ _Lord Marshal Riddick, for reasons we have not explored but likely were nihilistic and perhaps a tiny bit oppositionally defiant, ordered the entire Necromonger fleet into the Threshold of the Underverse. Subsequently, our Riddick woke, naked, in a young lady's parlor. In another universe. Susan, the young lady in question, was not pleased, as Riddick's presence signaled that her grandfather, the anthropomorphic embodiment of Death, had gone on walk abouts, leaving the family business – represented by The Pale Horse and The Scythe – to her. Mounting the Pale Horse, Binky, she brought Riddick, clothed, to Death's realm in an effort to investigate. Riddick discovers he likes Binky, who, he learns has the ability to go anywhere. Anywhere. Dramatic voice drop._

_  
**Our story thus far:**   
_   
_Lord Marshal Riddick, for reasons we have not explored but likely were nihilistic and perhaps a tiny bit oppositionally defiant, ordered the entire Necromonger fleet into the Threshold of the Underverse. Subsequently, our Riddick woke, naked, in a young lady's parlor. In another universe. Susan, the young lady in question, was not pleased, as Riddick's presence signaled that her grandfather, the anthropomorphic embodiment of Death, had gone on walk abouts, leaving the family business – represented by The Pale Horse and The Scythe – to her. Mounting the Pale Horse, Binky, she brought Riddick, clothed, to Death's realm in an effort to investigate. Riddick discovers he likes Binky, who, he learns has the ability to go anywhere. Anywhere. Dramatic voice drop._

 _As Susan is researching her Riddick troubles in Death's Dark Study, Lobsang, Susan's boyfriend and the son of the anthropomorphic embodiment of Time arrived with grave news that Riddick's attempt to give the Necromongers what they want may be shredding the multiverse. He also lets slip that the Underverse is a real place where Necromongers go when they die. Realizing that Jack might in fact be subject to rescue, Riddick decides to ride forth and save her. After mysteriously agreeing on "nine minutes," Susan slays Riddick with Death's own scythe. Our tale then took us to the Underverse, where we learn Jack was in fact reborn in the Underverse after dying saving Riddick's life, and has sadly fallen into the hands of people who are not overly solicitous of her welfare. We returned to Death's study. Time has rolled back nine minutes. Riddick is not dead – yet – and instead is given dinner and a comfy bed._

The next day, Riddick and Susan visit a village that has suffered an attack of dragon. Riddick pulls two children from the wreckage and accompanies our Susan first to Sto Helit, which smells like cabbages, and then to a confrontation with the dragon. There, he meets a young police woman, who asks him to help with her inquiries, in exchange for beer. Riddick thinks that a fine idea. Our story continues . . .

 **Chapter 10. In Which There Are More Dragons.**

 _"Well," Susan said, from above the shredded remains of the multiverse, "that didn't work."_

 _"No," Lobsang replied, seriously. "It didn't."_

 _"Ready to try again?"_

 **0o0**

Angua was mounted on Binky, urging him on. Binky was blinking with benign disinterest. Riddick sauntered up.

"Hey."

"I need your horse."

"Do you."

The raven from the bar landed on Riddick's shoulder. He glanced at it. It had a green olive in its beak and a rat on its back. He looked away quickly.

"Squeak!"

"Mumble mumble mumble," said the bird.

The rat swung the scythe and came away with the olive. "Thought it was an eyeball," the raven said grumpily into Riddick's ear. "The rat says you're supposed to go with the werewolf."

Riddick took a halfhearted swipe at the raven. It flew to Binky's saddle with much affronted flapping. "Just sayin'"

Angua snapped, "I heard the bird. Come on."

Riddick stroked Binky's neck. The horse nickered at him. "Lady, I don't know who you think I am, but I don't usually take orders from rats." _Even if they are trying to dislodge olives from scythes._

Angua's look softened slightly. "Please?"

 _What the fuck. Not like I have anything better to do._ He gave Angua a wink. "You owe me another beer." He swung himself up onto the pale horse behind her. Binky clearly knew where he was going. He took two more or less horse-like strides then launched himself into the sky.

They flew away from the stink of the city, away from the stone hippos, away from riot of people seething beneath them. Some of the people very short. Some of them didn't seem quite human themselves.

Angua was gripping the reins tightly. "Quite the horse you've got. Most are terrified of me."

Riddick laughed. It surprised him how good it felt. Not much to laugh at, as a Necromonger. "Lady, I'm dead certain you are not the scariest thing this horse has carried."

Angua turned to look at him. "This really is The Pale Horse I'm riding, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"I thought his rider was Death."

"He seems to like me."

There was a thoughtful silence. She changed the subject. "You ever fought a dragon before?"

"Huh?"

"Given the direction and the shrillness, that's where I think we're going."

"Thought your hero boy had him tamed."

Angua shrugged, eloquently. "Given time, I'm sure they'd get on like a house on fire."

Riddick snorted. Then remembered the burned village. Scowled. Said nothing.

Then they were there. And Susan had been right – it was worse.

Not one dragon but three.

And a giant swirly thing behind them. Binky pulled back so they were hovering.

"Squeak squeak SQUEAK squeak squeak!"

Riddick looked at him blankly. "Bollocks," the raven muttered. "He says we have to get him to the threshold."

 _There's that word again. I'm gettin' real sick of that word._ "And what, exactly, does this have to do with me?"

"Squeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaakkkkk!"

"He says he can close it with the scythe before any more dragons come out!"

Riddick skewed his eye towards the swirly thing.

"And, again, that has what to do with me?"

"You've got to fly us there!"

"You've got wings."

"Right. There's a little too much wind for my little wings. And oh yeah, I'm a coward."

Riddick took a deep breath, surveyed the battlefield. The tamed dragon had taken up position between the other two and the city. It was screaming defiance. The other two were screaming defiance back. The tame dragon was more or less hemming in his flying counterpart, but the worm clearly had designs on the city. The swirly thing – the threshold – swirled balefully behind them. The orangutan was screaming, probably defiance. Angua's hero-boy was bleeding. _Well, that's something good._

Other than that, they were the only ones who had arrived at the scene. He could see people running towards them, from a long way away. _Damn. Just us._

 _Okay, figure this out. Guessin' that's a threshold. Except things come out of that one. Like dragons._

Angua was screaming at him. Probably defiance. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. He whispered into Angua's ear. "You know how to kill dragons?"

"Not ones this big. But I'm thinking rippin' its throat out might do it."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah. Okay. I like that. Two on one or split up?"

She shot one agonized look at hero boy. "I'll take the grounded one. Carrot and the Librarian can concentrate on the other flying thing. You close the portal, then come back and help out, okay?"

With her lupine eyes boring into him, he nodded. _I'm going soft,_ he thought, followed quickly by _"librarian?"_

Before he could follow up on that second thought, Angua smiled and started wriggling around in a distracting fashion. She got her sword belt off and looped it awkwardly over his neck. "Here. You can use this more than me."

"How's that?" And then he wasn't soft at all.

Because Angua was taking off her clothes.

 **0o0**

"Not that I mind," Riddick drawled after a moment or two. "But what are you doing?"

She swung around so she was sitting, precariously, side saddle. Automatically, he snaked an arm around her. "Thanks," she grunted, and started unlacing her boots. "Get us closer to the worm."

"No problem," he said thickly, beginning, again, to wonder what it would be like to mate with a werewolf. Binky seemed to have a better idea of what she wanted and started taking purposeful strides through the air downwards.

He forced himself away from the fantasy. Well, from _that_ fantasy. _There are dragons down there. I don't believe in dragons. But they are right there. And there's a nearly naked cop nearly in my lap. Right there. And I'm on a horse. Right here._

With one final distracting, if highly professional wriggle she was naked and tying her clothes and a prodigious amount of miscellaneous weaponry into a neat bundle. "Okay. Close enough." She twisted slightly and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Good luck. Thanks. Don't watch me change."

"A little late, don't you think?" But she had already dropped the bundle, stood in the stirrup, and launched herself from the horse.

He watched. There was a naked woman flying through the air. _Would I do something about this if I was a good person?_

"Uh, gov – we gotta deal with the threshold," the raven muttered. Riddick nodded, still distracted.

And then he knew why she told him not to watch. She _changed._ It wasn't the sort of smooth change of a soul ripped from its body and dissolved into nothingness. It wasn't any sort of smooth. Riddick had never heard the term "morphic uncertainty," but suddenly, deep down, he knew what it was. Wished he didn't.

At the end was a wolf. She landed on the worm and ripped out a big chunk of flesh. It screamed.

The rat seemed to be having a quiet word with the horse. Binky turned towards the threshold.

" _Rip its throat out,"_ Riddick thought, impressed. _She meant that literally._


	11. Riddick Rides the Pale Horse Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Our story thus far:** Lord Marshal Riddick, for reasons we have not explored but likely were nihilistic and perhaps a tiny bit oppositionally defiant, ordered the entire Necromonger fleet into the Threshold of the Underverse. Subsequently, our Riddick woke, naked, in a young lady's parlor. In another universe. Susan, the young lady in question, was not pleased, as Riddick's presence signaled that her grandfather, the anthropomorphic embodiment of Death, had gone on walk abouts, leaving the family business – represented by The Pale Horse and The Scythe – to her. Mounting the Pale Horse, Binky, she brought Riddick, clothed, to Death's Dark Realm.

**Our story thus far:** Lord Marshal Riddick, for reasons we have not explored but likely were nihilistic and perhaps a tiny bit oppositionally defiant, ordered the entire Necromonger fleet into the Threshold of the Underverse. Subsequently, our Riddick woke, naked, in a young lady's parlor. In another universe. Susan, the young lady in question, was not pleased, as Riddick's presence signaled that her grandfather, the anthropomorphic embodiment of Death, had gone on walk abouts, leaving the family business – represented by The Pale Horse and The Scythe – to her. Mounting the Pale Horse, Binky, she brought Riddick, clothed, to Death's Dark Realm.

As Susan is researching her Riddick troubles in Death's Dark Study, Lobsang, Susan's boyfriend and the son of the anthropomorphic embodiment of Time, arrived with grave news that Riddick's attempt to give the Necromongers what they want may be shredding the multiverse. He also lets slip that the Underverse is a real place where Necromongers go when they die. Realizing that Jack might in fact be available to rescue, Riddick decides to ride forth and save her. After mysteriously agreeing on "nine minutes," Susan kills Riddick. Our tale then took us to the Underverse, and Jack. Things are not going well for Jack. We returned to Death's study. Time has rolled back nine minutes. Riddick is not dead – yet – and instead is given dinner and a comfy bed.

The next day, Riddick and Susan visit a village that has suffered an attack of dragon. Riddick pulls two children from the wreckage and accompanies our Susan first to Sto Helit, which smells like cabbages, and then to a confrontation with the dragon. There, he meets a young police woman, who asks him to help with her inquiries, in exchange for beer. Riddick thinks that a fine idea. Then the dragons come back. Our story continues . . .

 **Chapter 11: In Which Riddick Slays a Dragon. Hopefully.**

There was a whirlwind blowing from the portal. Riddick had to admit, grudgingly, that it probably could have ripped off a raven's outstretched wings. Might have ripped off Binky's wings. If he had wings.

 _How does he fly anyway?_ A swarm of doubt hit Riddick like a cloud of gnats. Fortunately, Binky didn't seem to notice as he swam, impossibly, through the wind. The raven and the rat were hunkered down in front of the saddle.

 _Okay,_ thought Riddick. _Why am I doing this again?_

He looked down at the ground, so very far away.

 _Right. Bad time to get off._

Faintly, he heard a scream. He risked a look over his shoulder. The wormy dragon was trying to buck a wolf – Angua – off it's back.

And then the other dragon noticed Binky. It snaked around in the air, powerful wings making their own powerful wind. Riddick untangled Angua's swordbelt from his neck. Realized he probably wasn't going to be able to buckle it around himself, settled for holding the sword in one hand. It was heavier than he'd expected.

"Squeak squeak SQEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK!" The rat bellowed.

"What's he sayin'?" Riddick muttered to the raven.

"He says dragons always have one soft spot somewhere!"

"Where?"

"He doesn't know!"

"That's not useful!"

"SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK!"

"Bollocks."

"What?"

"He wants you to drop us off at the portal," the Raven screeched, "before you go kill that thing that's after us."

"That wind will rip you apart."

"Squeak SQUEAK squeak!"

"Ah. I misunderstood. He wants to drop _you_ off before _we_ go after the portal."

"Right," Riddick growled. "I'm gonna fight a flying dragon without a flying horse."

The raven hunkered down. "Look, man, I'm a coward too. But it's gonna get worse."

"Nice try, bird." _But the bird's got a point. I'm going to have to mount that thing to kill that thing._ A plan coalesced in Riddick's mind. He leaned forward, whispered into Binky's ear. "I think you understand me, don't you? Two passes. First, I throw the sword. Second, I jump. You get them to the portal, you come back for me, got it?"

Binky nickered, reared up, spun, and launched himself towards the dragon. It roared. The horse galloped through the air undeterred, directly at the dragon's head. Last second, he reared up again.

Riddick threw the sword overhand. It spun fast through the air, buried itself between the dragon's shoulder blades, deep. The dragon screamed. Binky moved fast away.

 _Damn._ He'd hoped that would kill the dragon. It didn't. Still, it was clearly hurt. Blood – well, something liquid - spurted from the wound.

Knowing he had to move fast before the thing got too slippery to grab, he squeezed Binky with his knees, pulled slightly on one rein. Binky banked gracefully, made another run. The dragon was diving toward the ground and didn't seem to notice.

Following Angua's example, he twisted in the saddle so that he was no longer gripping the horse with his thighs. Spared a moment of admiration for Angua, who had to have known what he didn't know about just how precarious this position was. Then the dragon was right there. He dropped.

The dragon noticed that. It bucked furiously. Riddick grasped Angua's sword with all his might with his left hand, dug his right into the dragon's scales and held on. Binky seemed to wink at him, and then almost danced in front of the dragon in a coquettish fashion. The dragon roared and sped after him, giving Riddick a moment to get his balance.

 _Rip out its throat. Right._ He eyed the girth of the dragon's throat balefully. _I can't reach around, so either I gotta crawl down or come up with a new plan._

Crawling down would put him in reach of those claws, which did not seem like a good idea. _New plan. Wonder how deep down the spine is?_ He eyed the shoulder blades thoughtfully. Binky apparently decided he'd done his part for Riddick and accelerated fast. The dragon fell behind.

About two feet of the sword was sticking out of the dragon. Riddick let his right hand explore under the scale, which was about six inches long and four inches thick, jutting out from rough skin. He pressed two fingers into that skin, which was surprisingly cool to the touch.

 _Oh fuck me. This is easy._ He pulled a smaller knife out of his belt, shaved off some scales over where he estimated the spine would be. The dragon didn't notice. Then he yanked the sword out. The dragon noticed that, screamed, tried to twist its neck around to snap at him. Riddick buried himself into the dragon's scales and it missed. It took a deep breath.

Now or never. Riddick gripped with his knees as well as he could, grasped the sword with both hands and drove it deep into the dragon. Felt something snap. The dragon screamed one last time. The giant wings shot up, almost blowing Riddick off its back. Then it fell.

From a great height.

 _Fuck me, I didn't think of that._

The dragon landed with a force that splashed through Riddick's bones. And then everything went dark.


	12. Riddick Rides the Pale Horse Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Chapter 12: In Which Riddick Meets an Igor and Joins the Watch**

**Chapter 12: In Which Riddick Meets an Igor and Joins the Watch**

" _For hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee."_

The words floated through his head, looking for something to latch onto. _Like a dragon?_

 _I don't hate dragons. Fuck, I don't even believe in dragons._ For an instant, he remembered a dream of being back in the Necropolis, standing over Jack's body, stretched obscenely out on a table, dead, dead, dead. Someone had put coins on her eyes, a knife in one hand, a walking stick in the other. He was crying, the tears hitting her face like blows.

He shook it off and opened his real eyes carefully. He seemed to be laying in a bed in an . . . _art studio?_ There was an unsettling bowl of bananas with an unsettling big yellow bow on the table next to him. He stared at it, mystified.

The room was full of color and shapes. Things bubbling. Strange, fleshy smells. Dead smells. He sniffed cautiously, trying to remember. . .

 _Quasi-Dead? Lensor?_ The smell of flesh that should be dead, yet, inexplicitly, breathed. He sat up abruptly. For another horrifying moment, he was back in the Necropolis, surrounded by men who were mostly dead and utterly disturbing.

And then his vision shifted and he realized that he was still in Susan's crazy fuck turtle grounded world, facing a misshapen, shuffling. . . sentient being in a white lab smock. Seeing Riddick, it rearranged the scars on its face in a horrifying fashion. "You're awake!"

"You human?" Riddick asked abruptly.

The creature, whatever it was, rearranged the scars again into yet another fascinatingly horrifying formation. "Oh yes! Most of me. Let's see how you are doing." It approached inexplicably faster than anything with that sort of limp should have been able to.

"Most of you?"

The creature pulled itself up, scars rearranging again. Still horrifying. _Fuck me, it's trying to smile reassuringly._ "I am Igor. Mostly human."

"You're Igor?" Riddick repeated, dumbly.

It rearranged its scars again into what. "I know, I know, the lisp. It's a new age, my friend! We are no longer chained to the prejudices of the Century of the Fruitbat! Now, let's see if the leeches have done their good work."

Riddick's hand shot towards the creature's throat without Riddick's conscious volition. Volition mercifully caught up before contact. He did not want to touch this thing.

The creature spread its hands placating. Riddick saw with dim horror that it had two thumbs. On each hand. "I kid, I kid. Leeches do no good with broken bones." It picked up some sort of eyepiece, screwed it into place, twitched Riddick's blanket aside and began his examination.

"I see you met our Igor already," Angua's voice called from a doorway, dryly. Riddick glared at her.

"You knew about this?"

She came in and sat down on the bed with a bounce. Ignored his question. "We did good. You killed your dragon. I killed mine. Carrot and the Librarian got the other one tamed. The Librarian really likes you, you know. He sent the bananas. And the rat must have gotten the portal closed."

"Binky?"

"Who?"

"The horse?"

"Death's horse is named Binky?"

He glared at her again. She shrugged. "Haven't seen him. But Death's horse has to be pretty tough."

He growled at her.

"All done!" Igor announced happily. "All the bones have knit. Better than ever."

"Huh?" Riddick asked bewildered.

"You broke about 42 bones," Angua smiled at him, indulgently. "Our Igor's used to that."

 _Forty-two?_ "How long was I out?"

"'bout a day."

 _Un-fucking-believable. Not even the Necros could knit bones that fast_.

"Mustard plaster," Igor announced, brightly. Riddick glared at him again, swung his legs around, and stood up.

"Let's go for a walk," Angua said.

 **0o0**

She strolled out of the mad scientist's lab into a late afternoon in a busy city. Riddick followed, grimly.

"Somehow, I think Death's Horse made it," she said, quietly.

Riddick grunted. "Whatever."

"You really like that horse."

He shrugged. "Don't know a lot of people around here."

"You know me," her voice was soft. "And you just killed a dragon. You've got a lot of friends now. The Librarian adores you."

"Who?"

"The orangutan. The one who sent the bananas. He's the one who dug you out of the dragon."

"Huh?" _Dug me out?_

"The dragon got pretty squashed."

Riddick shrugged again, slightly, absurdly, mollified. "So I got saved by a monkey?"

"An ape. Monkeys have tails. Orangutans are apes. Like us. Well, our human parts."

He glared at her. "What the fuck ever."

She smiled indulgently. "Common mistake. Do you want a job?"

"Huh?"

"A job," she repeated patiently. "We could use someone like you. We could use you."

"As a cop?"

"As a watchman. Like me. Or you could see if there's anything at the library, but you don't really seem the type."

The surreal image of himself with a badge was unsettling. Not as unsettling as the image of himself shelving books. "You want me to be a _cop_? Lady, you are sniffin' the wrong . . . leg there. There's not a criminal in this city who's worse than me."

She snorted. "Oh, you'd be surprised. And I don't want you to be a cop. I want you to be a _watchman_." She hesitated. "Look, I know you've done things. I've done things. Where I come from, we hunt people for fun. Rip their throats out when we catch them. Pretty much everyone here has A Past. Except maybe Carrot. But think about it. First, you need a job. Second, I'd rather know where you are. Third, you're one of the only people around who has ever killed a dragon. Doesn't have to be forever. Pay's pretty good, and you'll drink for free most places. How about it?"

He started to reject the idea derisively. _Yeah. Become a cop. When's that gonna get fun?_

 _Cold._

Sudden, complete, totalizing cold.

At least it did not last as long this time. Disconcertingly, he was back on the Necromonger throne, except instead of anchoring the Necropolis, the throne was on a mountain. He was utterly alone, except for the dead girl at his feet and an eagle screaming in the distance. Angua kept on talking like she had not noticed. Suddenly, grudgingly, Riddick realized he did not want to be alone. At least not until he got the lay of this land. And maybe of Angua.

 **0o0**

Riddick eyed the mannequin critically. He wasn't entirely sure of the point; why the little man had told him to attack it, but he was pleased with the result. It had taken three blows, but that was one mannequin that he wasn't going to be asked to attack again anytime soon. The stuffing was strewn fairly evenly across the courtyard, and, he judged, he'd splintered the boards representing spine, forearms, thighs, hands, and left foot. He was aware that Angua was watching.

"Well, he did good with the training dummy," Nobby Nobbs, who apparently was himself some sort of test Riddick had to pass, said. "But are you sure he's our kind of people, ma'am?"

Angua smiled. "Yes, Nobby. I'm vouching for him. He killed one of our rogue dragons."

"Of course, ma'am." Still, the man hesitated, looked Riddick up and down. "You commit any crimes?"

Riddick just stared at him.

Nobbs swallowed, continued. "You a law abidin' man?"

Riddick continued to stare. Nobbs hastily amended his question. "Any – any _major_ felonies?"

Riddick continued to stare, letting his lips part, letting his tongue slip from those lips slightly. He'd worked hard on that gesture and he was utterly delighted that _finally_ someone in this world was responding to him right. Nobbs stared, swallowed again and continued "Any recent major felonies within the jurisdiction of Ankh-Morpork?"

After a moment of due consideration, Riddick allowed, "No. Not yet."Angua snorted.

Nobbs smiled broadly, stuck out a hand. "Good enough! Let's get you sworn in."

 **0o0**

Three days passed without any more dragons. They gave Riddick night watch. He liked night watch. He especially liked it with Angua.

They were walking the stone streets through sticky air when Angua stopped. "Smell that?"

Riddick sniffed carefully. The city stank of rot and flesh and stone and fire and something unsettling he'd learned was Foul Old Ron. He stayed away from Foul Old Ron. He sniffed again.

"Blood?"

"I concur. Come on." They moved quickly and silently over city streets. Slipped into an alley. One man was crouched over the body of another. He saw them and bolted. Angua bolted after him. Riddick hesitated. The man on the ground wasn't quite dead, but the amount of blood on the ground made that just a matter of time. Decided not to mention it. He caught up.

"Shit," Angua hissed after several minutes of running. "I lost the scent." She shot Riddick an irritated look. "I need the real nose. I'm gonna change. Don't watch."

Riddick nodded. Part of him wanted to hunt this man, rip his throat out. Most of him really didn't care. Guy was already mostly dead, what did it matter? He stared politely at the wall until a sharp bark indicated it was time to turn around. The werewolf looked pointedly at a small bundle of clothes. With a sigh, Riddick picked it up and loped after the grey animal, resisting the urge to scratch her behind her furry ears.

It didn't take Angua long in werewolf form. Long enough for the man to connect up with a confederate. He had a crossbow, and it was aimed right between Riddick's eyes.

 _Ooh, deadly force. Things are looking up already,_ he thought. Angua growled and leapt at the man she'd been chasing. Riddick saw Crossbow Boy's trigger finger tense and used a trick Zhylaw had shown him to be right there and slap the crossbow out of the man's hand. The bolt went wild. _Shit, now he's unarmed. Not supposed to kill the unarmed._ A quick glance at Angua showed she wasn't paying attention. Her attention fully occupied by making her man piss himself in terror. _Shiv through the belly_ , _pull up, feel the death gurgle. Oh yeah. Lawful use of deadly force. And I drink free. This is great._ To think it was to do it. The man hit the ground hard.

Angua backed away from her man, growling. He scrabbled back. She gave Riddick A Look. He kept his face blank, tossed her clothes to her and crouched over the man on the ground, being careful to avoid the puddle. Tousled his hair.

"She'll be back," he offered. "She's just got to . . . change." The man whimpered. Riddick smiled down, cheerily. Stood and backed up as the man looked like he was going to piss himself again. Backed up and into something soft, where nothing soft should be. _Shit. I'm losing my touch. I was sure that guy was dead._ Riddick spun, knife out, slid into the side of the man he'd just killed who was, improbably, still moving. He gurgled and slumped to the ground, dead.

 _He's gotta be dead. I got guts, liver, and nicked the lungs. He's dead._

Angua loped around the corner. "Getting sloppy, killer?" He glared at her.

"Must not be human."

"Oh, he's human all right." She was cuffing the man on the ground, touching him as little as possible.

Impossibly, crossbow-boy was struggling to his feet, a knife in his hand. Riddick rolled his eyes, grabbed him around the middle.

"You think he's a threat?" She asked, mildly.

"Yeah. Call it Necro – call it intuition," he said, grimly. He twisted. With a deep, satisfying crack, the man's neck snapped. Twisted again, and the spine followed. The body went limp. Riddick let it slip from his arms, stepped back.

 _That was harder than it should have been,_ he thought. Angua was staring at him. He smiled at her. "That had to kill him."

She nodded, shortly. "Then why isn't he dead?"

Despite himself, Riddick started. Examined the man closely. He wasn't breathing. His neck was broken. His guts were spilled out onto the ground. He was dead.

Only . . . he wasn't.

 _Why do I know that?_

He was dead. No person with a neck at that angle could be anything else.

And yet, he was alive.

Riddick blinked. The part of him that was the Lord Marshal of the Necromongers stirred, and suddenly he knew. The man's soul. In the body. Still resident therein.

With what was clearly an enormous effort, the man inhaled.

"Kill me," he gasped.

"This," Angua said, "is a problem."

Riddick shrugged. "It'll work itself out." He rolled his shoulders, started collecting various weapons from various surfaces. Angua followed him.

"What do you mean?"

"Susan must have . . . had to go."

"What?"

"When Death leaves, people don't die."

"No one?"

Riddick thought about this. "No, there are special people Death has to take. Until she does, things just . . . stop."

"Kill me," the man gasped, again. Riddick glared down at him, irritated.

"So people who are dying . . . can't until she comes back?"

"Yeah."

"Kill me!" The man managed to pull himself up slightly, paw at Riddick's pants. Riddick kicked him.

"Stop that!" Angua snapped.

"Why? He's dead."

"It's in poor taste to pick on the dead."

Riddick snorted, stared down. Then he forced his perspective to switch, knowing that it was going to give him a bastard of a headache. But the Lord Marshal could see souls. Perk of office. He'd often wondered if Zhylaw got the headaches.

This soul was not the rich colors he'd come to expect. As he watched, it was sliding from gold into an unhealthy, almost urine yellow. _Disgusting_.

 _Soul taker. How did Zhylaw do that anyway?_ He frowned, remembering. Zhylaw, reaching into a man's body, yanking out his soul . . .

Riddick flexed his fingers, reached forward. When he reached the skin, there was only the faintest of resistance. He focused hard on the yellow. It seemed sticky. He pulled, and pulled, and suddenly the body gave up the ghost.

The body was, at long last, dead. The dead man was standing above it, looking shocked. Angua was staring at it, looking shocked. Riddick was shocked too, but working hard to cover it up. He smiled up at Angua. "That better?"


	13. Riddick Rides the Pale Horse Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Chapter 13. Wherein Riddick Helps Out**

**Chapter 13. Wherein Riddick Helps Out**

It got very, very cold. Then he was in a garden, with Jack, Jack as the little girl he'd left on New Mecca. She was standing her ground, impossibly brave, as a winged man with a flaming sword stalked towards her. _Fuck that,_ Riddick though. Got a running start, leapt. Jack shrieked in a charmingly girlish fashion. He felt wings ripping under his fingers.

 **0o0**

" _The further back we go," Lobsang said, seriously, "the more disruptions. And the more power it takes to fix it."_

 _Susan sat down at Death's study, a book open and heavily tabbed. "We've killed him three times, and each time some other Lord Marshal takes the fleet into the threshold, and everything goes all Librarian Poo. We're right back where we started, only without any back story. Can't kill them because my library doesn't have books on them." She ran her fingers through her hair, frustrated._

 _"We could ask the Librarian for help," Lobsang said. "There are other books in other libraries."_

 _Susan shrugged, irritated. "The Librarian likes him. Just like Binkey. I can't believe I'm hiding from my own horse. They'd figure it out. We need another solution. One that disrupts the Necromongers before_ any _of them can take the fleet across the threshold."_

 _"Well," Lobsang said, slowly. "Maybe Zhylaw's really the key. We do know one time and place Zhylaw was." The pages riffled all the way back to the beginning. "We know he tried to kill Riddick at birth. We could take them both out at once . . ."_

 _Susan sighed. "Worth a try, I guess. Let's do it now." She gripped the scythe. Lobsang took her hand, and they stepped into someone else's history._

 **0o0**

A house. A woman in the house, screaming, gasping, defiant, broken.

Susan and Lobsang stayed in the shadows.

An infant squalled. There was a wet snap, and the woman went quiet. The baby cried harder.

Susan and Lobsang stayed in the shadows.

The baby went quiet.

A military man stumbled out. He had blood on his hands.

Susan and Lobsang stayed in the shadows. As he passed, Susan reached forth and touched him with the scythe. He stumbled, fell, and went still.

Susan and Lobsang left the shadows. Susan put her hand on the door. There was a click of a lock. Susan turned grimly and stomped down the road towards a little girl who was cautiously approaching.

Susan smiled at the girl, who, once upon another time, had walked down that road, heard a sound, investigated, went through an unlocked door and found the blasted corpse of a woman and a new born baby with an umbilical cord wrapped tight around his throat. Once upon another time, that girl had unwound that cord, and the child had taken a deep breath. Once upon another time, the girl had lied, claimed to have found the child on another day, in another place. The child lived, grew, killed, conquered, and made friends with a horse. Once upon another time.

But this time, the girl was distracted. It would be days and days before the corpses would be found.

Susan and Lobsang returned to the shadows. And then they left.

 **0o0**

"You did it again," Angua said, accusingly. Riddick blinked at her. The angel with the flaming sword drained away.

 _I am fucking sick,_ Riddick thought, _of these cold snaps._ Irrelevantly, _I wonder what the hell Susan's doing?_

"And what the hell did you just _do_?"

Riddick rolled his shoulders. "Dunno. Something I picked up at my last job."

"You didn't – you didn't reach in and take that guy's soul, did you?"

"Yeah. I think I did."

"What the _hell_ was your last job?"

"Lord Marshal of the Necromongers."

"I don't know what that means."

"Me neither."

Angua stared at him, clearly unsettled. She signaled a gargoyle to send a message to collect the bodies, and they loped back to their rounds.

"So when Susan's gone, people don't die?"

"Yeah."

"Ah." She hesitated. "That happened once. People stopped dying. It got very strange. It got . . . bad."

He chewed on that for a moment. "Huh."

"It hurts to die."

"Wouldn't know." _Don't you? What the hell happened on Cremetoria anyway?_ He fixedly did not look at Angua. Almost missed it when she headed down a new avenue. "Where you goin'?"

"We're going to a hospital," she said. "One where people go to die. I think – I think you're going to be needed there."

She was right.

Riddick was damn glad when the dying re-started without him.

 **0o0**

Days later, Matilda, the witch he had met his first day on the Discworld, came to visit. She landed her broomstick in the court yard of the guard's and marched up to Riddick. "You." She said in contempt. "Of course it would be you. Come with me."

"Why?"

Matilda glared at him. "It's happened again. Death's gone. I've got – I've got a patient. She should be dead. But she can't die. She's in agony. I cast the bones, and they sent me here. You can fix it."

Riddick stared at her, about to tell her to fuck off. Angua cleared her throat meaningfully. She followed it up with a meaningful meeting of the eyes. He sighed. "I might – I might be able to help."

Matilda's eyes narrowed like Susan's would have. "You better. Come on." She swung up on the broomstick.

 _Oh you've got to be kidding._

Riding a horse behind a girl was one thing. _A fucking broomstick?_ _Riding in the back of a fucking broomstick? When's that gonna get fun?_

The witch fixed him with a glare. With a sigh, he hooked a leg over the back, and the thing raised smoothly.

It was not a pleasant ride. After far too long, she landed at a farm house, took him – through the back door – into a sick room. A girl, ten, eleven, wasted away on the bed. A woman, probably her mother, looked up. So many tears had dried on the woman's face you could see the salt.

"Any change?" Matilda asked, gently.

The woman shook her head. "She woke up. She kept begging. Saying she'd be good. . ."

"I gave her so much laudanum she shouldn't feel anything." The witch's voice was quiet. "Helped for a while. Now it does nothing."

"Any hope?" Riddick asked quietly.

The witch shook her head. "No. There is too much damage. She should be dead. Death – death will be a mercy."

Riddick looked at the girl's took a deep, shuddering breath. "I just want the pain to stop."

Riddick sighed. Stepped forward. Put his hand on the child's chest. She blinked up on him with eyes that were no longer human.

He blinked his own eyes, and the body dissolved into light. Most people were gold and green, shot through with other colors. Red was pain, he knew that somehow. This girl was red, flecked with gold and green. He closed his eyes, but the image remained. All pain.

"Relax," he whispered. "I'm here." He reached in, trying to find the buried gold, leave the red behind. Leave the pain behind. It was hard, but finally his fingers caught golden gossamers, and he pulled and pulled and pulled.

With a finally rattling cough, the red settled back into the body, which relaxed at last. The pitifully small cloud of gold and green smiled at him.

"I'll be good," it promised.

 _What the fuck are they teaching these kids?_ Riddick thought. He couldn't bring himself to even mouth the words. He just nodded, turned, and walked away as the mother sobbed over her daughter's cooling body.

 _I can't keep doing this,_ he thought. That night in the hospice, taking one life after another, the rounds afterwards - Riddick closed his eyes. He couldn't stand another night like that. He'd do it if Angua asked. _Getting' soft._

Matilda followed him out. "Thank you." Her voice was actually soft.

"Why me?"

The witch smiled. "Bones said you're the closest thing to death around."

"I want to talk to Susan." Riddick said, abruptly.

"Me too." Matilda stared into the middle distance. "There's a way . . . not a witch way, but a way. The Rite of AsheKente. I know a guy. Come on."

Riddick didn't even complain about the broomstick this time. Might not have been a solar chariot, but it got the job done. He even managed to doze, dreaming of walking with Jack and a lion down a moonlit path towards the black hole threshold, past a statue of a woman with a sword in one hand and a scales in the other.

 **0o0**

 _"Why isn't this working?" Susan hit a tree. It crumbled into sawdust. Lobsang patted her hand and made a quick furtive gesture. The tree reformed. Susan scowled._

 _"We've killed him a dozen times. Zhylaw, Vaako, his wife, it just doesn't matter! The Necromongers go into the damn Underverse no matter what!"_

 _"Maybe we don't know what we're doing," Lobsang said slowly._

 _"Of course we don't!"_

" _Maybe we should talk to someone?"_

 _Susan blinked. "Who'dya have in mind?"_

 **0o0**

The teenager's fists were gripped so tight it was a wonder she wasn't drawing blood from her palms. "I'm not gonna talk to you."

Susan smiled at her. Riddick's not-girlfriend, at fourteen, was defensive and gangly, tom-boyish and panicking.

"It's alright, dear. We're friends. Tell me about Riddick."

To Susan's surprise, Jack fought The Voice. No one ever fought The Voice. No one even noticed The Voice. Susan _pushed_ , and Jack's defenses drained away. The girl's voice went small. "He saved me from monsters."

"What was he like?"

"Big. Strong. Alone. Didn't like anyone but me, and he didn't really like me much."

"What does he want?"

Jack scowled. "Nothing."

"Nothing?"

Jack's face twisted. "Only thing I ever saw him want was to get rid of me."

"What do you mean?"

"He wanted me _safe._ " Jack's eyes were bright with tears. "I get it. He told me once – he told me once I'm the closest thing to family he ever had. He used to call me his kid sister. He loved me. I loved him. Then he left me. It was the right thing. I couldn't be safe with him. He killed anyone who looked at me wrong, but some day, he was going to get caught, and then what? He wanted me safe. I miss him every fucking day."

Susan could feel the girl beginning to the fight The Voice again. She pushed one last time. "What do you think he'd do if something happened to you?"

Jack started to laugh, slightly hysterically. "I think he'd kill a lot of people until he felt better and then he'd move on. Who _are_ you?"

Susan smiled sweetly. "A friend. Not one you will remember," she said, using The Voice one last time. And then Lobsang wrapped her in his cloak and the two of them were gone.

* * *

 **0o0**

"Ponder Stibbons," Riddick said, heavily. The man blinked up at him in shock. "I need you."

"Good heavens, why?"

"Wanna talk to Death."

"'The End of Hope, the Friend of the Friendless, the Surcease of Pain?'" Ponder said, weakly. "You want to talk to _him_?"

"Her," Riddick said, flatly. "It's a girl these days."

Ponder started to pace, nervously. "Rite of AshkEnte. Four cc's of mouse blood, a fresh egg and two sticks."

Matilda held up a small sack. "Right here, ducky."

Ponder swallowed. "I can do it. But – why?"

Riddick shrugged. "Just wanna talk to an old friend."

It didn't take long at all. A rough circle, a muttered incantation, and there she was. Susan. Carrying the scythe and looking annoyed. She wasted no time glaring at him.

"You left me," he said, accusingly.

She fixed him with A Look. "I _left_ you? You stole my horse! Now what do you want? I'm busy trying to save the frelling universe!"

He licked his lips, feeling foolish. "I wanna help," he muttered.

" _What?_ "

"I said," he said, with greater deliberation. "That I want to help."

She almost dropped the scythe. "Good god, why?"

He swallowed. "Look. When you leave, people – people get hurt. And they stay hurt. I – I wanna help end this."

She looked at him, and he had the sense she was looking all the way down. She nodded abruptly. "You've been filling in," she said, with some wonder. "Locally. Okay. You can help." She smiled. "Now break the circle." Ponder squeaked.

"Don't!"

"Huh?"

"You break the circle, she gets out!" Ponder squeaked.

Susan turned to look at him. "Ponder Stibbons," she said, her voice dropping. Her hair uncoiled around her head and a robe materialized on her shoulders. "I will remember you, Ponder Stibbons." The temperature started to drop.

Suddenly, Binky was there. Riddick's eyes stung slightly. _God damn, I've missed the horse._ With a foot, he scuffed the circle. She stalked forward. He offered her a leg up the horse, which she took without looking at him. He mounted behind her, and they left Ponder to gibber on alone.


	14. Riddick Rides the Pale Horse Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Chapter 14: Wherein Riddick Gets a Temporary Position.**

**Chapter 14: Wherein Riddick Gets a Temporary Position.**

Susan took him back to Death's house. They dismounted and stalked inside to the den. She sat at Death's dark desk, and looked ancient for just a moment, gazing abstractedly at him. Lobsang and the Death of Rats were waiting as if this was some sort of scheduled meeting.

"Whatdya want me to do?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"I'm trying to figure that out. What are you good at?"

"Killin'."

She nodded thoughtfully. "That might be the solution to our problem. If I could just figure out who to kill. Problem is, I've pretty much decided it's not a Necromonger." Her eyes on him were steady, her voice had a new quality to it.

"You've been killing Necromongers."

"Yeah. Hasn't helped. Yet."

"You're visiting to the Underverse?"

"No. Not much point in that." Her voice deepened, and he felt the strong desire to avoid the subject. "No. I've been killing people _before_ they get to the Underverse."

He shook his head. "Time travel. That's impossible."

Her lips quirked. "You've met my boyfriend." Riddick glanced over at the dark boy.

 _Avatar of . . . Time. Avatar._

 _Am I an avatar?_ He could feel his brain slide away from the thought.

Susan sighed. "Maybe I just need to spend more time tracing things out. I feel like the solution is right in front of me; I just can't see it." She glared at him meaningfully. He kept his mouth shut. She sighed and continued. "But you're right. Grandfather's still gone, and when I'm not here, death dies. Discworld needs death."

"Squeak squeak SQUEAK!" The Death of Rats was bouncing up and down.

"Sorry, old chum, you've speciated. You can't do it."

"Squeak squeak SQUEAK squeak!" The Death of Rats was brandishing a tiny scythe in Riddick's direction. Susan scowled at them both.

Lobsang's voice caught. "That could work."

"What? He can't be Death. He's just some guy. He can take one soul at a time, but that's not what we need right now. We need someone who can take souls all the way to the threshold. Or help us."

"Kill a king, become a king," Lobsang said, softly. "Some of the oldest magic in the multiverse. Kill Death, become Death . . . "

He was staring at Riddick with a rapt expression. Irritating. "You want me to kill your girlfriend?" _Best idea I've heard in a long time._

To his surprise, he didn't really think it was.

Susan had a strange look in her eyes. "Kill Death, become Death. Stranger aeons . . ."

"Death may die. I can slice it. Trust me." Lobsang's eyes were intense, and there were galaxies dancing in them.

"I do." Susan stood, came around the desk fast, resolute in her combat boots. "Okay, here's the deal. We're going to make you Death. We'll be able to work on this problem longer that way. You'll have to keep Binky. He knows what to do. Binky, keep him out of trouble. The rat and the raven are actually a lot of help. Keep them close, listen to them and to Albert."

 _Kill Death . . ._ "You want me to kill you." Riddick's voice had lost its amusement.

She shrugged, irritably. "Just for a minute. Haven't you been listening? You want to help, do my job while I fix what you broke."

"While you're dead."

Her expression softened. "No. We're going to slice time. Turn time into a loop. I'll be alive on both sides of it, just not in the middle. You only have to be Death until me or Grandfather make it back." She handed him the scythe. "I can't think of anyone better for the job."

He looked at her, feeling suddenly helpless. "You two are sure about this."

She didn't answer directly. "Just – swing the scythe like you're harvesting wheat. It'll be okay. Go where Binky takes you. You just have to be there for the key ones, take them to the threshold. Easy as pie."

He still stared at her.

"Please? Look, I'm not asking you to be a hero. God, don't be a hero. I'm asking you to do what you were clearly born to do. Kill people. And don't read your own book."

The last words made no sense. He decided to ignore them. "On three."

"One . . . two . . . three."

 _Snick._

Her lifeless body hit the ground. Very dead.

"It worked." She was lying dead at his feet. Except that she was standing next to him. With a scythe in her hand.

He had one too. He could feel something welling up deep inside. _I killed Death._ He smiled a long, slow smile. _So who'd win now, death girl? Before I'm through, the underworld's gonna be a whole lot more crowded._

She raised the scythe. "Thank you. Don't mess this up." Then she was gone.

Albert bustled up, panting. "Okay, first job." He thrust an hourglass at Riddick. Riddick took it thoughtfully. "Just show it to the horse. He'll take you there. Say hi, swing the scythe, take him to the threshold."

Riddick eyed the hourglass with a feral grin. "Just go where the horse takes me, whack who ever looks most . . . whackable?"

Albert grumped. "Wait here." He grabbed back the hourglass, scurried back to the house. Came back with a book. "It's a wizard. Always like to see those bastards die." The old man thrust a book at Riddick with a malicious smile. "Gardeniuos. Grandiose bastard. Professor of Licentious Astrology."

"So whack him?"

"Pretty much. Go. Take. Deliver to the threshold. Come back."

"Lemme see the book." He took it, paged through it thoughtfully. Albert was practically dancing in his anxiety to have him leave. _He's not as much fun to torture as the Necros, but hey, take what I can get._ "This his whole life?"

"Yup. Now get the hell outta here!"

Riddick smiled, low and slow. "Do I have a book, old man?"

Albert scowled at him. "So you're not just an asshole, you're narcissistic?"

 _Narcissistic? Do I know that word?_ "Could be."

"Yeah. You got a book. If I get it for you, will you just go?"

"You bet." He vaulted onto Binky, feeling . . . feeling the best he'd felt since he'd decided to rescue Jack from the Necros. "Don't wait up, sweetheart."

The air swallowed the old man's words. Riddick was almost disappointed. From the old guy's expression, there was some creative abuse coming out.

* * *

 **0o0**

Binky took him back to Ankh-Morpork, into a castle that would give Riddick a headache if he let it. He didn't let it.

 _Suppose I should tell Angua that I'm taking leave,_ he thought. He snorted at himself. _Maybe later._

Gardeniuos the grandiose bastard had a plaque on his door that indeed announced he was the Endowed Professor of Licentious Astrology. Riddick frowned at it for an instant, feeling like he was being made fun of. For an instant, he felt the cold coming on, and the suggestion that he was going to be flipped upside down and hung by the foot. He raised the scythe and the feeling retreated as if scared. He smiled. _I could get used to this._

The professor was waiting for him. He blanched when Riddick came through the door, maybe because he didn't open it first. "You're late," the professor snapped.

Riddick stared down at him, silently. "No, you're doing it wrong," the man's voice rose. "You're supposed to say something witty here. Decrease the tension."

"Hm. Like, 'No, you're late?" Riddick suggested. "Seems to cheapen the moment."

The professor deflated. "You're new, aren't you?"

Riddick smiled. "In a way."

"I'm your first?"

"Oh no. Not my first."

The man looked at him shrewdly. "Not the first you've killed, but the first you've taken to the Threshold?"

Riddick cocked his head to the side. "Well . . . First time with a horse."

The man laughed until he started coughing. "Oh-ho! I know who you are. Our dark problem. The one who turned a demon dimension into a black hole."

"You know about black holes?" Riddick was actually surprised.

"Licentious Astrology, remember? I did a tour once. You're from a round world. A universe with quasars and black holes and . . . " the man eyed him shrewdly. "Little girls who died for you." Riddick glared at him. "Yeah. I had the sense they were going to try to stop it by killing you, not by having you join the team."

Riddick chewed that over. "I'm sure they would. Do you think it would work?"

The man considered with an abstracted look on his face. "No – no. You don't stop a black hole by feeding it. Even an artificial one. Interesting. Can I get back to you on that?"

"Tempting. But no. I've seen what's happened when people don't die."

"Right." The man resettled himself. "Let's get on with it."

Riddick swung the scythe. The man's soul was there, separated. Unlike the witch, not appreciably younger looking than the corpse. _Think about that later. How do I take him to the threshold? Susan didn't take Binky. She just winked out._

"I don't have all day, son! Let's get on with it!" Riddick glared at him, and he floated back half a step.

 _So she probably just thought about it. What am I thinking about?_

 _Threshold._ Instantly, the two of them were hovering over a whirlpool in space, ripping a galaxy apart.

"Son," the wizard said carefully. "That's an event horizon in another dimension. We're looking for a door. A wooden door in a gray plain. Look at the scythe's handle. It goes there. Let it guide you."

 _Right. Different threshold. Gray plain . . ._ He tightened his grip on the scythe. There was a wrench, and they were standing somewhere very quiet. And, indeed, on a gray plain with a big wooden door.

"Right!" the man said, "Well done. I think I can take it from here." He strode manfully across the dust to the door. Stopped. Looked back one last time. "Son, that was your threshold we just saw?"

"Yeah. I think so."

"Cor. That's world destroying at a high level. Well done. One last word of advice, if I may."

"Shoot."

"You want to fix this? Kill your father. Tear out the root and burn the ground. Be a hero."

"Not a hero."

The man snorted. "Consider giving it a go. I understand it's good for your afterlife. Well. Have a good death!" He stepped through the door and vanished.

Riddick was utterly alone. He walked around the door thoughtfully. It was just a door freestanding on gray plain. After a moment, he opened it and stuck his head through. Jerked back quickly.

 _That was weird._ The professor was at a banquet table with an alarming number of old men singing about a hedgehog. At the same time, a giant man with a jackal's head held a scale in one . . . paw, a feather in the other. At the same time, warrior women rode horses across an ethereal sky. He thought he recognized them. A man with one eye and his own raven smiled at him like a father. Three judges on three thrones stared down stonily. Zhylaw looked him right in the eye, a bloody rope in his hands. A young woman in black with heavy eye makeup gave him a cheery wave. All at the same time. All superimposed on top of each other.

 _That was really fucking weird._ He poked his head back through again. The images waivered, collapsed into the one eyed man. The man was the living breathing embodiment of hale and hearty. He grinned broadly. "You, my son, are an opportunity," he said. Riddick jerked back again.

 _Kill my father. I don't have a father. Kill the one eyed guy? Does that make sense?_ Poked his head through one last time. The girl smiled at him. "My brother's right, you know. Save the maiden." He pulled back. Blinked, and he was back in the professor's office with Binky. Mounted the horse. Left.

 **0o0**

After he finished, he decided to make his apologies to Angua. Binky seemed to know what he wanted; took him back to the bar. She was sitting at a table set for two.

"You're back fast," she said, sounding surprised. "Did you settle things with that witch?"

He blinked at her, not remembering. "Oh. Yeah. All good." _There was this girl, and I killed her,_ he started to say. The words died in his mouth. "Yeah. Death's working again."

She eyed him critically, up and down. "You look different."

He looked down. There was gray dust clinging to his boots. Just like it had to Susan's, once upon a time.

"Yeah. Look. Somethin's come up. I've got something I gotta do. Not sure if I'll be back."

"Really."

He nodded.

"New job?"

He hesitated. "Temp position. I'll be filling in for . . . Susan."

Angua's eyes widened. "So, you're Death now. Can anyone apply?"

"Gotta kill a few people."

She smiled, showing teeth. "I've done that. Anyone in particular?"

"Ya gotta kill Death." _Damn, many I shouldn't have mentioned that._ " Look – look, I gotta go."

"Hold on," she says. "There's someone you gotta meet. He just went to the alley for a minute. I think you might know him."

He frowned at her. _Him? Only guys I know in this world you don't are Albert and Lobsang, and I'm sure they ain't here._

"My lord!"

Riddick spun, and was confronted by a very surprised Vaako. The two of them stared at each other across the bar. Riddick was a little vexed that no one, not even the old woman who was clearly not undead, seemed to notice. _Shouldn't there be a musical sting or something? This is titanic._

"You _do_ know each other!" Angua announced, brightly. "I thought you might."

Riddick sat down heavily in what was clearly Vaako's chair. Vaako pulled up a new one, laid a hand on Riddick's arm. "I thought you were dead," he said, earnestly. "You weren't with us when we awoke in the Underverse."

"Yeah, well, I got . . . on the wrong train, I guess. Ended up here. How did _you_ get here?"

Vaako sighed, noisily. "Something went wrong. The Lord Marshals went to war with each other. I joined up with Kyril. My wife – my wife left me for Zhylaw. She always wanted to be a Lord Marshal's wife."

 _Oh great humpin' Christ. Those two._ Riddick controlled his expression. Nodded. "So you moved here after the divorce? How'd that work?"

Vaako smiled, slightly. "Oh no. Just – we were on the battlefield, and there was this swirly thing and-" he broke off for a moment, got a look of longing on his face. "And it just seemed the right thing to do. The Underverse was not all it was cracked up to be. Ended up here with a bunch of the guys."

"How many?"

"Just twenty. With you, twenty one."

Riddick sighed. "Not – not with me. Not right now."

Vaako looked anguished. "You're our Lord Marshal. We need you."

 _Oh you really don't,_ Riddick started to say. Cut it off. "Look. I'm in the middle of something. I'll try – I'll try to come back. Why are you talking to a _cop_ anyway?"

Angua broke in smoothly. "Couple of dozen heavily armed men show up? Seemed the thing to do. Plus, we thought they could help with any more dragons."

"You're thinking of offering them a job?"

"Yes. Special auxiliaries. We gotta contain the monsters somehow." Riddick frowned at her, feeling, again, like he was being made fun of.

"What do you think, sire?" Vaako asked, sincerely.

 _Contain the monsters. Or, at least, give them jobs to do. I get it._ He laughed out loud. "I _love_ it. Go be a dragon slayer. This world likes heroes. Or at least people who look like them." He stood, grasped Vaako's shoulder with real affection. "I'll be back if I can."


	15. Riddick Rides the Pale Horse Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Chapter 15: In Which Riddick Reads Books.**

**Chapter 15: In Which Riddick Reads Books.**

After tending to Binky, Riddick stomped through Death's dark house until he found Death's dark study. There was a book on Death's dark desk. He picked it up. Read the title from the cover.

"The Chronicles of Richard Balder Riddick." _Snort._

Set it back down. He had no desire to read it.

The revelation was ice cold down his spine. _Because Susan told me not to_. _She used The Voice on me._

 _Fuck that._ He opened the book randomly.

 _Johns said, "Not too big a job for you, is it?"_

Riddick frowned. _Okay, maybe Susan had a point. I don't need this._ Flipped to the very end of the book. Words were appearing on the page, _Riddick was reading the words with growing annoyance and unease_. He flipped the pages backwards more carefully.

 _Riddick shrugged. "Had to end sometime."_

He flipped forward.

 _"I was always with you," Kyra whispered. Her body went limp. His eyes filled with tears as he collapsed back onto the throne._

 _"No!" a shrill voice shrieked._

 _As one, the Necromongers slid gracefully to their knees._

 _Riddick gazed out at the crowd, half his body slumped in grief, half already settling into the ornate throne. "You keep what you kill."_

He stared at the page, deeply unsettled. _Maybe this is a bad idea._ _Self reflection is bitchier than Vaako's ex wife._ But he forced himself to flip forward again, slowly. Until he found words he had no memory of ever hearing.

" _And now your old king has your girl," Lobsang said slowly._

 _"They're both dead- Shit. They are both in the Underverse."_

 _"In this demon dimension of yours. The one that's bursting out all over."_

 _"Take me there."_

 _"No. We have no idea what would happen if we unleashed you in there."_

 _"I'm not asking."_

 _Susan looked at him. Then she looked at Lobsang. Then she hefted the scythe. "Nine minutes?"_

 _Lobsang nodded. "Do it."_

 _She swung the scythe. Riddick never had a chance. His lifeless body hit the ground hard._

He turned the page. On the next page, Lobsang walked in again. Riddick closed the book.

 _Those fuckers. They killed me. Just like they had me kill Susan. Time loops._

Killed me so I wouldn't know. Wouldn't know about Jack. Kyra. Who the fuck ever she was.

 _Who ever the fuck she_ is.

 _Where ever the fuck she is._

Riddick's hands were shaking now. Flipped back to the page where she died. Noticed that Kyra's name was glowing slightly. He touched the letters.

 _I loved her._

The air prickled. He looked up, expectantly.

Nothing happened.

 _That's wrong. I know that's wrong. Something should have happened._

Her book should have shown up.

He took a deep breath and bellowed, "ALBERT!"

His voice echoed strangely through the strange halls.

There was the sound of running feet. Albert appeared, out of breath. "Mas—oh, it's you." He scowled. "You sounded like the master there. What do you want?"

Riddick found himself stalking around the desk. Albert fell back a step, quivered slightly. "Cor," he whispered. "You even looked like him. What – what can I do for you?"

"I want her book." Riddick tapped the glowing letters. He could feel the ghostly outlines of a cape settle around his shoulders. "NOW."

Albert swallowed. "That usually does it. Lemme see." He tapped the letters too. Nothing happened.

"Okay, let's go find it." With a crablike scuttle, Albert scooted out of the office, Riddick following, feeling eerily like he was gliding over the old wooden floors.

Albert took him to a library, or something like one. There were books on shelves, shelves that reached up into the sky. "Damn," he grunted. "Look, I'm guessing she's not one of ours?"

Riddick glared at him. "She's one of mine."

"You mean she's from a round world? Okay, she's not going to be in our collection." Albert backed up fast, but not fast enough. Riddick had him by the throat, thrusting him into a shelf that clattered behind him. "Okay okay okay! Look, I'm not supposed to – okay, look, there's someone who can help. Let me go and I'll see if I can find him."

Riddick leaned very close. "Who?"

"The Librarian." Albert managed to look supercilious, even while pinned. "He's _the_ go-to primate for navigating L-Space."

Riddick grunted. "You mean the monkey?"

Albert scowled at him. "No. He's an orangutan. No tail." At Riddick's blank look, Albert elaborated. "Orangutans are apes. Just like people. Not monkeys. Monkeys have tails. Apes don't."

"What the fuck ever man. The _orangutan_ gave me a fruit basket. I thought he was in Ankh."

The old man snorted. "Yeah. Ever hear of interlibrary loans? All libraries are connected. Since you know him, follow me." Riddick hesitated, nodded, let him go. The man scurried away with surprising speed.

After an eternity, they reached a place where the books changed, the shelves grew shorter, and there was a distinct smell of bananas.

"Ook?" came a cautious hail.

"Hey, old chum," Albert's voice was soft, unthreatening. "Got a request."

"Ook ook?" The smell of bananas got stronger.

An orangutan shuffled down the hall. He saw Riddick and his face lit up. "Ook OOK ook ook!"

Despite himself Riddick smiled. "Yeah. Same to you." He opened his book up and pointed to Jack's name, glowing on the page. "Old guy thought you could help me find her?"

The Librarian took the book cautiously. "Ook?" His voice was soft and gentle, his gaze so compassionate that Riddick's eyes started to prickle.

Albert grunted. "Not the girl, just her book."

That cheered the orangutan immensely. "Ook ook!" The librarian loped off with surprising speed. He was back almost immediately. He patted Riddick's head with a leathery hand, and wandered away, his eyes full of understanding.

Riddick held the book in his hands, gazed at the cover.

"The Chronicles of Audrey Parnell

a/k/a Jack al-Walid

a/k/a Kyra Riddick."

 _Kyra Riddick. She took my name. Jesus. Some Death I am. I'm gonna start bawling._ He pocketed the book and followed Albert back to Death's dark realm. Sat in the den. Opened up the book at random, nearly half way through.

 _"Never had a doubt!"_

He did not want to read the rest of the words on that page. Did not want to know if she knew how close he came to leaving her to die that day. He flipped forward.

 _"Lotta questions, whoever we run into. Could even be a merc ship. So what the hell do we tell them about you?"_

 _"Tell them – tell them Riddick's dead. He died somewhere back on that planet." Riddick took her hand with a small smile_ , _and she was the happiest she had been for years and years._

He flipped forward.

 _The bounty hunter took her by the hand, walked her onto his ship._

He closed his eyes. Opened them. Flipped forward more quickly.

 _The mercs held her down. Started cutting off her clothes._

He stared sightlessly at rest of that page. Flipped forward again.

 _"Death by tea cup. Why didn't I think of that?"_

Flipped forward again. _The tentacles swarmed over her, squirmed their way inside her, muffling her screams._

He closed the book with a snap. Stared at it. With a sense of foreboding, he opened it to the last page.

It was empty.

He paged back. Found the last page with writing on it.

 _Kyra hung on the tree, a spear through her heart._

The ink looked new.

As he watched, words began to appear further down the page. _Irgun had pulled the spear out of her heart during the night. Her body had collapsed on the ground. With the rising sun, her eyes opened._

" _Oh fuck, you're still here?"_ The words kept spilling down the page as he read.

Riddick wrenched his eyes away from the book. _Fuck. This is now. This is happening to her right now._

 _Irgun. I killed him._

 _She's alive._

 _Or whatever passes for alive, locked in a demon dimension with a man who's torturing her._

 _I'm a royal fucking idiot. She's in the Underverse._

I have to go get her.

He opened her book again. There were more words on the last page already.

"The Lord Marshal wants you back in your cage, little monkey."

" _Oh, goody. You gonna cut off my fingers and toes again?"_

" _They grow back, don't they? Eventually? Don't worry. I'm sure he'll get bored of you. Eventually. Especially if you stop escaping. Just give in girl. There is nowhere to go."_

 _No where to go._

He stared frozen into the permanent twilight of death's dream kingdom. After a moment, he slipped both books into his pocket. They fit easily, though they should have been far too big. Then he started collecting weapons.

Suitably armed, he went to the stable. Saddled Binky, filled the saddlebags with food, water, supplies. Mounted up. Pulled Kyra's book out of his pocket. Leaned over the horse's neck. "Can you find this one?"

Binky whickered softly.

"Squeak!" The rat was back, scrambling up the horse. He scowled at it.

"You're leaving the Discworld?" croaked the Raven.

"Yeah."

"You're not supposed to do that."

He shrugged. "Got something I gotta do."

"Squeak!"

"Why don't you two be Death for a while."

"He wants to go with you," the Raven sighed. "And he wants me to translate. He says you're gonna need him."

Riddick started to snort. Then he pulled out his own book and read _Riddick needed the Death of Rats._ Closed the book. "Come on."

"Will there be eyeballs?"

Despite it all he could feel his lips twitching into a smile, maybe his first real smile since Jack died. "Generally."


	16. Riddick Rides the Pale Horse Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Chapter 16. In which Riddick Enters the Underverse.**

**Chapter 16. In which Riddick Enters the Underverse.**

Binky launched himself up, galloping directly towards the tiny moon, gaining speed with ever step. Riddick held on grimly. The raven's talons were digging into his shoulder, but now was not the time to deal with that.

With a burst of speed, something happened. Reality went fuzzy. After what seemed like hours, Binky was cantering to a stop in a dark pasture. No one was around. Quoth eased the pressure on his shoulders.

"Where is she?" Riddick growled, glaring at the trees like they had betrayed him personally.

"Squeak," the rat said, soothingly.

He pulled out the book, but in the darkness, even his eyes couldn't pick up the text. "Jack." He whispered. Binky nickered, softly. "Why aren't we there already? Doesn't the horse know the way?"

"Yeah. All us occult figures, we can find anyone in the book. Eventually. But it's not our realm, guv," Quoth responded. Riddick closed his eyes. "Binky's doin' his best, but he's exhausted. I don't think he can apparate very precisely here. Which means you could end up in a wall. That wouldn't bother the master in his own realm, but I'm not sure about here and you. We'll have to walk the rest of the way."

Riddick slid to the ground. Binky looked grateful. Riddick closed his eyes. 'Jack," he whispered again.

"Look," Quoth said, "me and the rat, we'll do some reconnaissance while Binky rests up. You stay with him."

"Why?"

"He's the way out, you know.

"Right." Riddick sighed. Gave Binky an affectionate pat. Started to unsaddle him in the dark. "Right." The Death of Rats took one last look at her book, mounted the raven, and they were gone.

 **0o0**

Kyra woke up, her hands bound behind her, chained by the feet in stone cell. The Necros were being damn sure she wouldn't escape again for a while. There was a guard outside, though he wasn't moving. And there was a rat in the cell squeaking at her earnestly.

She expected rats.

She hadn't expected rats wearing little cowls and carrying scythes at their hips.

This one also had a key. "Squeak?" It seemed to be inquiring solicitously.

 _I'm finally going crazy. I think this rat is trying to talk to me._

 _Fuck that. I think the rat is wearing clothes. I have gone crazy._

The rat moved with exaggerated care, key gripped carefully. It was moving around her. Then, impossibly, the key was being fitted in the lock on the manacles binding her hands behind her back. "Squeak," he said, soothingly.

"Squeak?" Kyra tried. The locks clicked open.

"Don't patronize the rat, monkey-girl," a raven said, crossly, waddling over looking very self satisfied. "He's doing his best."

The rat scurried around. Kyra took the offered key, cautiously opened the manacles on her ankles, stood up. The rat scurried back to the guard. There was a noise, and it had another key. It offered it to her with a bow.

"Door key, monkey," the Raven said with a hint of asperity. She took it, bemused, opened the cell door.

"You're a bird."

"Smart monkey. Come on." The raven smugly stalked down the hallway. The guard was still because he was a corpse. One without eyeballs. She stopped long enough to steal the long knife she knew, intimately, that the guard carried. Followed the raven. Seemed the thing to do.

It was dark very outside. They kept silent until they'd slipped out of the castle's perimeter, into the dark woods that surrounded it. Whatever passed for a moon was not penetrating the tangles, and they moved with agonizing slowness. Finally, Kyra asked, cautiously. "Where are we going?"

"Catch up with Riddick."

 _Riddick._ Her heart leapt. And fell. _If he was going to come for me, he would have by now. And since when does Riddick hang out with ravens?_

She started to laugh. _Of course he hangs out with ravens. He creates corpses._

"Squeak?" the rat said, concerned.

Kyra collapsed, pulled herself into what felt like the roots of a giant tree. She managed to stop laughing. "I need a break. I can't see anything."

"I'll check it out." The raven launched itself into the air, disappeared. The rat took up station in front of her, on guard. _My guide and savior,_ Kyra thought, hysterically. She closed her eyes, must have dozed off because when the raven came flapping back, she almost jumped out of her skin.

She could hear the raven flapping on the branch above her, but it was pitch black. "No pursuit," it announced. It, apparently, could see her. "You look awful."

Kyra nodded. "How much further?"

"About an hour at monkey speed." The raven hesitated. "Look, if you want to rest, we'll go get him."

"Thanks," she said, gratefully. "Good idea. I could break a leg out here. Then you'd have to shoot me." A hysterical giggle burst from her lips. The raven looked at her sharply. There was a flurry of sound, then things went still.

She closed her eyes again, her brief mirth dying in the pitch blackness. _Let's see. Since last time I died, I've been raped, beaten, stabbed and starved. I'm hysterical._

 _About an hour walk. It'll take them a while to find him, a while to find me._

She pulled out the knife she'd taken from the guard. Stared hard at it. _I hurt everywhere._ Dawn wasn't long. Less than an hour. She could do this, and be back before he got there, reborn and strong. If this was real.

 _No reason to wait. I'm tired of hurting._ She pushed back into the deep roots of the tree as well as she could, just in case. Then she drew the knife hard across her own jugular.

 **0o0**

Once the moon set, it was too dark to read, even for him. Riddick decided to stay put until daylight. He fell asleep leaning against a tree, cradling Jack's book in his lap.

"SQUEAK!" He opened his eyes to find a rat inches away.

"We found her," the raven said smugly. "Broke her out. She's waiting." Riddick's eyes widened. Looked over at Binky, who blinked at him, sleepily.

Riddick padded over to Binky. "You up to this? If I guide you?"

Binky nickered softly, nuzzled him. "Okay." Riddick shook himself, made sure he had everything. Saddled Binky, took his reins, walked quietly in front of him. The rat scrambled onto the saddle, the raven landed on his shoulder. Felt right they were there. With the raven issuing cross commands as a guide, they made their way through the darkness.

It took an agonizingly long time before the raven said, softly "Oh, bollocks." Flapped down, stalked its way into a tangled tree. Riddick followed.

 _Jack. Kyra. Whoever the fuck she was_. Tangled in the roots of the tree. _Dead._

He wormed himself in. Jack's body was sticky with blood, almost cold. He gathered her into his arms, crying, really crying, not caring that anyone could hear him. There was no one to hear him but a horse, a rat, and a raven, and who fucking cares? _Who fucking cares?_ _I loved her and she's dead. Dead again. I can't bear this._

The night was lifting. In the soft light, she looked like she was sleeping. He cuddled her close, shuddering.

The sun rose. A soft, warm light penetrated the gloom.

Jack took a deep breath. Her eyes blinked open. She smiled up at him.

"Hey," she whispered. She touched his face wonderingly. "Did you – did you die too?"

He started to laugh. _That's right. I knew that. The sun rises, people do too._ "Holy fuck, I thought you were dead Jack – Kyra –"

She started to laugh too, hysterical. "Riddick, you can call me anything you want." Instantly she stilled. "Wait – seriously, are you dead? You didn't-" She touched his neck, still wonderingly. "You didn't convert. What – how are you here?"

He jerked his head towards Binky. "I came for you. We – we came for you."

She looked at the horse, mystified. Clearly, she decided she didn't care, because impetuously, she kissed him. After a shocked instant, he kissed back, hard. After an eternity, she pulled away. "You're alive."

"Yeah,"

"But I'm dead. This is the land of the dead."

He nuzzled her. "A land. Yeah. We should get out of here."

She pulled away She looked at the horse. Looked back at him, baffled. "Get out of here? How?"

"Yes, how are you planning on doing that, my last Lord Marshal?"

 _Shit._

Five heavily armed men stepped out of the underbrush. Riddick was on his feet in an instant, the scythe back in his hand. Jack made a mournful noise, scrambled to her feet holding a large bloody knife.

Riddick eyed the man in the lead. "Irgun."

The man bowed ironically. "You remember me! I am honored, my Lord Marshal."

"Read you killed her." He jerked his head back towards Jack.

The man blinked at him, slightly unnerved. He could also sense the unnerveness flowing of Jack. Ignored it. Irgun bowed. "I think we all have, my Lord Marshal. And now we're going to kill you both, bring you both back, and tomorrow morning, when you rise, the real Lord Marshal can decide what to do with you."

"I don't think so, Irgun."

"One of you. Millions of us. Kill us, we rise again. Kill you, you rise again, contained."

At that Irgun launched himself at him. Riddick swung the scythe, and Irgun disappeared. Four more blows, and no more Necros.

Riddick turned back to Jack, smiling. She stared at him, wide eyed. "What the hell did you just do?"

"Babe, I thought you liked playing who's the better killer."

She shook her head. "It's not so much fun here, what with dead the rising again, often real pissed off. But – but you didn't leave anything to rise again."

"Explain to me how that works. Like some sort of fuckin' game? You get more lives?" He frowned at the knife in her hands. It was covered in blood. _Thought I taught her to clean her weapons._

 _That's right, she killed herself with that thing. Hard to clean things when you're dead._

She looked at him shakily, grimly, her eyes wide. "Yeah. When you die here, your body wakes up the next day, good as new. There was this one time they cut me into four pieces-" she stopped at his dark look "the next day I was all back together. But there was always a body. But when you did it, No bodies . . ."

"Squeak squeak SQUEAK!"

Jack stared at the rat, baffled. Looked back to Riddick. The raven broke in helpfully. "Rat says that Riddick has become death, the destroyer of worlds."

"That's not helpful, Quoth," Riddick growled.

"I don't understand," Jack said, woefully. He sighed.

"You died. I – we - killed Zhylaw. I became the Lord Marshal. I sent the fleet into the threshold. Bad idea. Caused – caused a type of black hole. It sucked. Started sucking the universe in. Started sucking a lot of universes in. I ended up in one of them. Then it got complicated."

She stared at him. Squared her shoulders stalwartly. He wanted to kiss her again. "Have you gone fucking crazy?"

"Yes. Yes, I think I might have. But I have a plan."

"Really?"

"Save you. Stop the suck, if I can figure out how."

"Save me," she whispered, the stalwartness flagging. She shook slightly, looked anguished. "I stopped hoping you'd save me a long time ago."

 _Ouch._ He frowned at her. "What, you think I got something better to do with my life? Saving you has pretty much been my only motivation since we left that god damn monster planet."

"You used to be better at it," she snapped. Then her expression softened. "How do we stop the suck?"

"I don't know. I think I'm supposed to kill my father."

She laughed. "Never thought of you as having parents. Kinda figured you sprung from a dragon's tooth or something."

"Squeak squeak squeak SQUEAK SQUEAK squeak!"

Riddick stared at the Death of Rats. "I almost understood that. I have to kill my father . . . medically? In a pipe?"

"SQUEAK!"

The raven sighed theatrically. "You monkeys. He said _metaphorically. And,_ he was using another metaphor. Rat says that this place is like a clogged drain, and the Lord Marshals are the clogs. Says Riddick's gotta remove them all with the scythe."

"Goody. I've got a couple I'd like to do the honors on," Jack smiled, low and dangerous.

"SQUEAK!"

The raven danced a nervous dance. "The rat says no. Riddick has to."

"Why?"

Everyone looked the rat, who emitted an enormous amount of squeaky noise. The raven laughed. "'Cause he's the Lord Marshal already, and he's not stuck here. You kill one of them, you become one of them. Clogging this place again. And he'd have to kill you to save the universe."

"Fuck that," Riddick growled. "I'd let it die." Then the words hit. _And that's it. That's what the Licentious Astrology professor meant. Tear out the root and burn the ground. Kill my father. Kill the Lord Marshals, all the way back._ He looked at Binky. "You in?"

The horse nickered. "Jack? You up to being a good guy? Even if you gotta leave the best killin' to me?"

"It's Kyra," she snapped. Then she softened. "Oh, hell yeah. I hate these guys. Let's save the universe."


	17. Riddick Rides the Pale Horse Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Chapter 17: Death Comes to the Lord Marshals.**

**Chapter 17: Death Comes to the Lord Marshals.**

"Okay," Riddick said. "Let's review. There were six Lord Marshals before me.

Covu, Oltovm, Naphemil, Baylock-" He broke off, as Jack shuddered, stared hard at the ground, "Baylock" _the Brutal, I'll ask her about that later,_ he promised himself, _or I could just check the book._ "Kyril and Zhylaw. What do we know about these assholes?"

"They don't like each other." She said, flatly, not looking at him. "Though they are all terribly polite. When I first got here, Zhylaw used to show me off. They're . . ." she swallowed. "I'm told that as they get older, they're increasingly less human. Zhylaw still seems like a man. Kyril's . . . man, it's like he's letting out his inner lizard or something. Baylock's got," she shuddered, "tentacles. Lots of them. Not always. Naphemil glows. Or something. Zhylaw said he could burn things down. Oltvom – the earth shook when he walked. He was like a tidal wave. And Covu . . . Covu's a dragon. One who spend way too much time in the heart of darkness. All hollow and stuffed with . . ." she shuddered. "Darkness. Or something. They've all got armies and it seems like at least two of them are always fighting. I don't know why. Both armies just get up the next day and do it again, until their masters join forces against someone else."

"Guess that's something to do."

"Monkeys fight," the raven said smugly. "I like it. Lots of eyeballs."

"Apes," Riddick said, absently, trying to formulate a plan based on far too little information. He pulled Jack's book out his pocket, started paging back to where she'd met the Lord Marshals. The other Lord Marshals. Their names glowed on the pages. He touched Baylock's name, almost expecting something to happen.

"Huh?" quoth the raven.

He responded without thinking. "Humans are apes, not monkeys. No tails."

Jack snorted. He pulled himself away from a truly riveting, and truly disturbing, description of her time with Baylock and his tentacles and gave her a quick look. She was staring at him strangely. He shrugged, feeling an embarrassing urge to explain. "I've been, um, hanging out with a school teacher. And, um, a librarian." To his horror, the words just kept on coming out of his mouth. "And a butler. Named Albert."

"And you learned all about monkeys?" Her tone was dry. Wasn't hard to hear what she wasn't saying. _"I got slaved out to men turning into monsters while you learned about the primate kingdom? Did I mention one of the guys had tentacles? Do you know where he put those things?"_

He flushed. "No! Just – there was this orangutan . . ." He stopped. _What the fuck do I tell her?_ "He gave me some bananas," he finished, inanely. "After I killed a dragon." The last bit was almost defiant.

Her eyes narrowed. "What the fucking hell happened to you after I died?"

The words came out of his mouth before he thought them through. "I lost the will to live." _Fuck me. I did, didn't I?_ "It made me crazy. I did some weird things. I _really_ missed you."

She blinked at him several times. Then she punched him in the arm. "You old softy you."

He growled, low. "You just wait until we're out of here. You'll find out how soft I am."

She snorted. "I'll believe it when I see it." She poked him in the stomach.

He grabbed her hand, held it for a heartbeat, then swung her into a bear hug, holding her book behind her back. Gazed down at her adoringly. "Okay. Killin' first, then mushy stuff."

She pulled away enough to look up at his face, her eyes widened slightly. "I'm with you on the killing. We'll have to talk more about the rest of it."

He snorted. "Okay. Give me a sec." He let her go, leaned against Binky, still paging back through the book. Kept his hand over the title.

"What are you reading?" she asked suspiciously.

 _Oh, shit._ "Just something I" – he almost said "got from the orangutan, but managed to change it to "picked up along the way." The raven coughed. He scowled at it, thought hard, _keep your beak closed, bird_. _Or I'll feed you your_ own _eyeballs._ "I'll show you some time when we aren't in such a hurry." _Yeah, right, I'll do that._ "Zhylaw knows you escaped; do you think he'll come after you himself?"

She got a thoughtful look on her face. _Well, where else would she get it?_ "He always sends Irgun. But he must have been weirded out; it's usually _just_ Irgun." She turned on the raven. "You plucked the guard's eyeballs out, didn't you?"

"Yup."

" _Now_ I can believe you're one of Riddick's friends."

Riddick laughed. Caressed her cheek. Walked around to Binky's front. Tapped Zhylaw's name in her book. "Can you find him?"

Binky nickered affirmatively. Riddick grinned over at Jack. "Might as well do him first." He mounted Binky. Felt like home. He held his hand out to Jack like he'd once held it out to Carolyn Fry. Smiled at her. "Come on. Let's go kill us some monsters."

* * *

Zhylaw was having breakfast; tea and biscuits on a veranda up five stories in his stone castle. Riddick didn't even have to get off the flying horse. One blow with the scythe and Zhylaw was gone, his teacup crashing to the stone floor below. "Bye bye, pops," Riddick called as Binky galloped across the sky before anyone else had a chance to reach for a weapon.

They landed in a clearing in the woods by a bend in a stream. Riddick slid off Binky's back, gave him a friendly pat. "Nice one. You need a drink?" Binky seemed to nod. Riddick lifted Jack off the horse, who padded to the stream and took a long drink. Riddick stared after him, thoughtfully.

"You can let me go now, Riddick," Jack said. He blinked. He hadn't realized he still had his hands on her waist. He let go, slowly. Shook himself. Sat down against a tree, her book in his hands, re-reading her encounter with Kyril carefully. Pretty straight forward. He was a lizard. A big lizard. "Come on, Riddick. I can tell you're not letting me see the title. What is it, anyway?"

He grunted. "Call it a . . . travelogue. About someone who was here once. Met the family."

"Someone else who escaped?" She sounded terribly hopeful.

"Something like that." He grinned at her, tucked the book under his arm, strode over to Binky. Tapped Kyril's name. "Can you find this one?"

Binky nickered, a little smugly. Riddick grinned. "Okay. While it's still cool."

"Huh?" quoth the raven.

"He's a lizard. Lizards are slower in the cold."

"Good grief, Riddick, did you become an expert on animals while I wasn't looking?" Jack's voice was dry. He grinned at her again. Vaulted on to Binky's back, pulled her up behind him.

Kyril was indeed sunning himself in the morning sun in a lizardly fashion with ten self important soldiers a discrete distance away. They weren't watching for flying horses. Kyril's eyes barely opened as Riddick sliced off his head. They were gone before the witnesses had time to stop gasping.

* * *

Binky cantered to a stop. "That was easy," Riddick said, smugly. He dismounted, turned, held out his arms for Jack.

She snorted. "Helps when they're not expecting you. And when you've got the only flying horse. And the better weapon. Where _did_ you get that thing?" He just grinned at her, arms still outstretched. She hesitated, then slid off the horse into his arms. He kissed her forehead.

"Killed someone."

"For me?"

"Everything's for you, Sunshine. But no. Figured that out later. Stranger aeons, babe." She looked up at him blankly. "Death may die."

She frowned. "You know, you used to make a whole lot more sense."

He laughed, a full belly laugh, tightened his arms around her. "Yeah." Kissed her forehead again, more lingeringly. "I did." Finally, reluctantly, he let her go. "Okay. Two down. Four to go."

She backed away. "Yeah." She shuddered again. "We should move fast before word gets around."

He nodded. "Who do you think's gonna be the hardest?"

She got an abstracted look on her face. "I'm not sure. Naphemil is weird. Like he's turning into light. I don't know how you kill that. Oltvom is huge. Like I don't understand how his skeleton can support him. But he moved pretty slow, and you do have a flying horse. Baylock's like this giant octopus. At least he was the one time I met him. Lots of tentacles. From something Zhylaw said, I think he's a bit of a shape shifter. He basically lives in the water, though he doesn't have to. That might make it harder; I don't remember swimming being one of your superpowers. Can flying horses swim?"

"Dunno. Binky?"

Binky seemed to nicker smugly. Riddick nodded. "I think they can. Okay. Go on."

She stared at him for a second. Shook herself. "Covu might be the easiest. He's like this self important little dragon holed up in a cave. Zhylaw didn't seem to think he was any big deal."

Even though he knew the answer, he asked anyway. "You spent time with all these guys?"

She sighed, noisily. "Yeah. Some. Not really with Naphemil or Oltvon. I'm gonna need therapy after all the time I spent with Baylock. I spent the most time with Covu. Zhylaw ditched me off in his cave once for a couple of days. Wasn't that bad. His family's there. He pretty much ignored me when he wasn't explaining he was the mighty god king of all creation. He's . . . arrogant. He really believes. His wife puts up with him. I actually kinda liked her. I don't think he'll be hard to kill."

"Okay. Baylock first." She nodded, a little fretfully. "Do you wanna sit this one out?"

"Oh god no. I want to watch him die."

 **  
**

* * *

Baylock was easy to kill. Riddick regretted he hadn't chopped off his tentacles first; it was all so fast. Only thing that was hard was listening to Quoth's smug cry, "To take arms against a sea of troubles and, by opposing end them."

 **  
**

* * *

Naphemil was even easier.

 **  
**

* * *

Oltvon barely noticed they were there.

 **  
**

* * *

Then there was only Covu. He left the rest of them and stalked, alone, into the dragon's cave. Blinked at what he saw there. More like a dragon-et, nothing like the monstrosity that Riddick killed back on the disc; barely bigger than Binky. It hissed. "Tremble brief mortals! I am the thing the darkness fears. I am the thing that goes bump in the night. I am the Lord Marshal. The first."

"Really?" Riddick smiled, tightened his grip on the scythe. "I'm the Lord Marshal too. The last." Covu never had a chance. One blow, and it was gone. The ground started to tremble. He backed out of the cave. Then he ran, rocks crashing around him.

The rest of them were waiting, huddled together. There was a question in Jack's eyes. "Got it done?"

"Oh yeah."

"Now what?"

"I think this place is imploding, guv," the Raven croaked. "I think it's time to get on our Pale Horse and ride away."

 _Beautiful idea._ He vaulted up Binky, leaned down and swept Jack up and set her down in front of him. She shrieked girlishly, just like she had in his dream of her being stalked by an angel. The raven landed on his shoulder, the rat scrambled up Binky's withers and hunkered down in the horse's mane. "Hold on Sunshine," Riddick whispered into Jack's ear. "This part's _fun_." Binky took two steps and galloped into the shrinking sky.


	18. Riddick Rides the Pale Horse Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Chapter 18. Judgment**

**Chapter 18. Judgment**

Binky landed lightly in Death's front yard. Riddick dismounted, helped Jack down. Susan stormed out of the house, furious. "You stole my horse. Again!"

Riddick smiled. "Susan, meet Jack. My dead not-girlfriend. Jack, meet Susan. She teaches school."

Susan's eyes flickered over Jack briefly, seemed to classify her as irrelevant, turned back to Riddick. "And you stole your book!"

Riddick grunted. "Yeah. Once you told me not to, it just seemed like the thing to do."

"Susan?" a male voice called, wonderingly. Riddick blinked at Lobsang. He hadn't noticed him there.

She whirled at him. "What?"

"It's okay. He fixed it."

Susan blinked rapidly. Got an abstracted look on her face. "Gosh. He did. Huh. Guess we're not all falling into the suck any more."

"GRAND DAUGHTER." A new figure apparated. Riddick blinked at him too. He was tall, gaunt, and wearing a cape. But no skin. Or flesh. _Grandfather. Her grandfather. Death. Oh. Interesting._

"Granddad," Susan said, a hint of asperity. "Nice of you to drop by."

The thing seemed to smile affectionately; quite a trick without lips. "YOU HAVE MADE ME PROUD AGAIN, GRANDDAUGHTER." He turned his face to Riddick. There were galaxies dancing in the eye sockets. Very distracting. "THE MULTIVERSE OWES YOU . . ." the voice trailed off. "ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. BUT YOU HAVE MY THANKS."

Riddick gave it a brief nod. "Anytime, granddad."

"THAT'S MINE," the figure said, reaching out a bony hand for the scythe. Riddick moved back.

"All yours, grandpa. But we gotta get a few things straight first."

"YOU THINK TO DICTATE TERMS TO ME?"

"Hey, just two colleagues talkin' here." One hand on the scythe, the other on Jack. "What happens to us?"

"YOU HAVE SERVED US WELL. YOU MAY LIVE OUT YOUR DAYS IN WHAT EVER MANNER YOU SEE FIT."

"And her?"

"SHE HAS DIED. I WILL TAKE HER ACROSS THE THRESHOLD MYSELF."

"No."

The cowled figure stared at him.

"INTERESTING. I HAD AN APPRENTICE ONCE. HE FOUGHT ME FOR A GIRL. HE DIED. WILL YOU FIGHT ME FOR THIS GIRL?"

"I stormed the fucking gates of hell for her. You fuckin' bet."

"YOU WILL LOSE."

"You sure?"

A cold wind blew through the clearing, whipping dead leaves that hadn't been there moments before into their faces.

"YES."

Jack pulled away as much as he'd let her. "Riddick, I don't want this. I died. I knew – I knew it could happen. It means everything you came for me. It's enough – it's more than enough."

He looked down at her. Pulled her close. Shook his head. Shifted his grip on the scythe.

Susan started to laugh. "Grandfather, he's an ass. But he did us a big favor. He saved the universe. He saved the multiverse. Can't we let this one go? They aren't going to live more than another fifty years. Plus, he could be a great back up if we both have to go somewhere . . ."

Death stared down at his granddaughter. Then he started to laugh.

"I HAVE A GREAT DEAL OF DIFFICULTY REFUSING YOU, SUSAN." He winked at her. "I LEAVE IT ALL IN YOUR CAPABLE HANDS." He turned to Riddick, seemed to bow. "I WILL SEE YOU BOTH AGAIN. NOW I SHALL HAVE A CUP OF TEA." He turned, cape swirling, and was gone.

Susan exhaled slowly, turned on Riddick, thrust out her hand. "Books." Riddick finally let go of Jack, fished them out of his pockets and handed them over with a grin.

"Now what?" Jack asked again, shakily. Susan got a thoughtful look.

"Well, you could go back to Ankh-Morpork. Go back to the Watch. They've got a werewolf and the rightful king of the city; you must fit right in. Or I could drop you off on XXX – Big continent, giant talking kangaroos, he'd fit right in there too." She gave Jack an appraising look. "I think you might too."

Lobsang broke in. "Or we could send you back to your universe. It's not in the best shape, but not all that bad. This place will never seem right to you."

"We go back, we're hunted," Jack said. "I don't want to be hunted anymore."

Riddick looked at her. Took one of her small hands in his own. "This place is fucked up. Dragons and witches and werewolves and no space ships. You wouldn't miss the real world?"

She met his eyes. "You're my world," she said softly. "Whither thou goest, I go." He closed his eyes.

Opened them. "You're sure . . . Jack?"

Her lips twitched. "Never had a doubt."

"Let's go to Ankh-Morpork. I've got . . . friends there. One thing I don't understand."

"One thing?" Susan's voice was architecturally arch enough to support flying buttresses.

"You killed me. Why aren't you the Lord Marshal?"

Susan rolled her eyes. "I was Death at the time. You killed a wizard, you didn't become one. Death changes things. Things don't change death." Lobsang cleared his throat meaningfully. Susan flushed. "Much. And anyway, what could the Lord Marshal do that I couldn't? He's just a lesser version of the archetype."

"Huh," Riddick said, already losing interest. "Can I borrow the horse?"

She snorted. "I'll take you, see you settled."

Jack looked over at Binky. "He'll take three?"

Riddick smiled. "That horse? He can take thousands. Let's go."

* * *

When Susan returned, Albert met her at the door.

"Did you tell him about the genetics?"

"What do you mean?"

"That any kids those two have are going to carry Death in their genes?"

"Everyone does, Albert."

"You and him more than most. And my guess is those two are goin' be makin' babies way faster than you and Lobsang." He waggled his eyebrows.

Susan glared at him. Opined dryly, "I suspect the Pale Horse will only come for him or his kids if Grandfather and I are busy."

"Horse liked him. Plus you get busy a lot, Susan."

"Shut up, Albert."


End file.
